Monthly Archives: January 2017

The Last Goodbye

My name is Riley James Frazier and I am a lot of things. I am a dreamer, a fighter, a hypster by nature, a son of God, a Washingtonian, a wheat thin lover, smoothie devourer, runner, gym nut, health freak, and list goes on. Above everything that I am, I take pride in knowing that I am one that doesn’t quit and gives up.

With that being said, for the first time ever, I wanted to quit with all the fibers in my body yesterday. I wanted to quit school and move back to Washington state. I wanted nothing more than to leave Provo and never come back. I wanted everything to be done! The pressure was too much and people are rude! As I sat on my bedroom ground, I wanted nothing more than to pack all my belongs up and get on the next flight to Portland.

I hit a wall last night so perhaps I should turn back the wheels of time and explain what lead to the catastrophic moment of time.  I’m exactly two weeks into my final semester as a student. I’m currently in the middle of writing my thesis paper, the paper that brings six years of higher education to a point. A whomping fifty pages on collection of everything I’ve learned in my marketing program and consumer behavior. Basically, to sum it up, this paper sucks major!! MAJOR! To top it off, I still have classes with their own papers, case studies, readings, and classes to attend.

Living in Utah comes with it own problems as well. As a  26 year old man, according to the society I live in, I should have already been married and had at least one child. However, I am not married and I don’t have children. Rather, I walk the earth alone in my own world. People in Utah, particularly my program, are just darn rude. I’m ostracized on the daily and usually I don’t let it affect. However, some days the comments hurt too much. Sometimes, it hurts to be the one bullied, even when you’re trying your best.

So, I let the pressures of school and society effect me. I truly broke down and wanted to escape from all reality. While crying on the floor, a roommate was there to lend an ear and truly to mourn with those that mourn. In this moment, I was reminded of my favorite commercial.

As a marketing major, I’ve had the joy of dissecting many commercials. I’ve looked at what is good with them and what is bad. I’ve never been a fan of commercials, if I’m being completely honest. The purpose of a commercial is to inspire, motivate, and to get others to act. Well, there are very few commercials that get me to do that. However, there is one that takes the cake. In 2016, Under Armour began releasing ads six months prior to the olympics with olympian athletes. Among these came one with Micheal Phelps that stands above the rest.  Set to the song, Last Goodbye by the Kills, and showing the hard process Phelps makes by himself to prepare for the victory. The road is lonesome and he must endure most things.  Its truly just breath taking and I could go on for ever about how much I love it!  But thats beside the point as this post is not an endorsement for Under Armour.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xh9jAD1ofm4 
(click to be inspired)

 

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While being comforted by a roommate’ I was reminded that what we do in the dark, by ourselves, will be seen in the light. I was reminded that I am not a quitter but a fighter. Though I’m still unsure, I know that it will work out. I will prevail victoriously. So I said goodbye to the thoughts of leaving and quitting. I said goodbye to the tears down my face and got back on track. Though its going to be the most intense semester of life, I know that I can do it. We never truly gain a victory on our own but rather its family and friends that help us succeed. True character is found in the lowest moments and its how we bounce back from the falls. I was lucky to have a roommate that was so in tune to inspiration as I was telling God my plan to leave and call it all quits. Heres to the bounce back and motivation to continue past the haters!

My name is Riley James Frazier and I don’t quit! I push through the hard days and the negativity. I am dreamer, fighter, a true hypster, and so many things!

 

It’s the last goodbye I swear
I can’t rely on a dime a day love that don’t go anywhere
I learn to cry for someone else
I can’t get by on an odds and ends love that don’t ever match up
I heard all you said and I took it to heart

I won’t forget I swear
I have no regrets for the past is behind me
Tomorrow reminds me just where

Can’t quite see the end
How can I rely on my heart if I break it with my own two hands?
I heard all you said and I love you to death
I heard all you said don’t say anything

It’s the last goodbye I swear
I can’t survive on a half-hearted love that will never be whole

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