Category Archives: Hipster

180 Dates

Since moving and becoming part of The Men of Ten, I have gone on 180 dates. Alright, go ahead and start the judgement on that number. I mean one doesn’t get the bad reputation without a high number, right? (Side note, the reputation will be addressed later, so remember it). It is a very high number and the only way I have counted is because I have a song that I play one time while getting ready for every date. That song just hit 180 plays about two weeks ago. I have learned so much from those 180 dates that I felt the need to share it with the world.

Screen Shot 2018-06-29 at 11.26.33 AM

Now, in those 180 dates, three girls were given a large amount of dates. They were even given that scary word of commitment, but sadly saw the sting of rejection in one shape or another. These three taught me how to open up and truly be vulnerable with someone. They taught me to take down the walls that I put up. They were each a blessing that I needed at their particular parts of my life. One taught me to not miss my chance and to love a friend. Two is the one that taught me that I could truly love someone. She helped me to see the hand of God more in my life. She was there for me in the beginning of my bad reputation and over looked it. Three, poor Three. She started out as a way for me to get over two and seemed more like a game. I wasn’t ready for her and I didn’t respect her. Sadly, she found rejection the hardest with a hand-written letter and the boarding of a plane for a goodbye. Not my best moment in life. She taught me the depth of my reputation and just couldn’t look past it. She taught me that I needed to learn to move on and focus on the things that matter most.

I was labeled as a heartbreaker, a man slut, and one that disrespects women. The last one hurt the most. The thing about rumors are: they are terrible and cruel, but most of them are true. I admit that I wasn’t the best with women when my heart got broke the first time since R. However, I honestly had the best intentions when it came to my dating life. When I moved to Provo, I felt that it was preached that we were supposed to date a lot. I set the goal to get married and I figured that 3-5 dates a week would help me to obtain it. That is how it all started. When I tarnished my name among those from my mission, I dove into dating like it was a sport. I didn’t see what would follow it.

Among all this dating, I feel like I learned what I didn’t want to have in a future spouse. There are some girls that I wrote off very quickly because I saw traits that I knew that I couldn’t live with. However, there are some girls that I just never asked out again because I wasn’t in the right state of mind at the time. I thought that I could use dating as a way to avoid my problems and broken hearts. I’ve learned that that is not good and healthy to do, and it is plain rude.

Since coming home from my mission, I struggled with dating in the aspect that everyone in my life seems to want to be a part of my dating life. I’ll go on a date and everyone seems to have an opinion and somehow ruin things that are going well. My friends and family seem to all be so noisy about my dating life. Even if it’s just been one date. So, I hide my relationships and dates. In these 180 dates, I’ve managed to keep most of them private. I’ve come to learn when it comes to relationships, I want them to be all for me. Not that I’m not proud to be dating the girl, but I want it to be the one part of my life just for me. I just don’t want the world to ruin it.

When my bad reputation was in full bloom, I pulled one from Taylor Swift’s page and went into hiding. I figured that the gossip would settle. What I found was that I was still in love with someone that I could no longer have. I realized that I had taken the time to mourn. So, I found myself struggling to compare girls to this one girl every time I went out. I felt really bad for them and I really have struggled to date till about two weeks ago.

My 180th date taught me so much about myself. It was simple and a lot of fun. It was very private, and I felt extremely nervous. I used to be nervous on every date and that went away. For the first time in a long time, I felt like the old me was coming back while in this date. I didn’t compare her once to another girl. I just saw her for her. I was able to be my childish self and not feel judged. I don’t know if anything will come from this date. I mean, I haven’t even gotten the courage to ask her out again. I don’t know if she enjoyed it, but I am very grateful for my 180thdate. It’s something that I will forever cherish in my life. It took 180 dates to realize that I can be me again, and that’s a victory.  I learned that I can just go have a good time with someone and not worry about the outside world. I just have to worry about if I’m impressing her enough and not saying the wrong thing. The boy before the reputation is back, just a little older and little more refined. I’m back and ready to take on the world with my large dreams.

Advertisements

Spider-Man to the Rescue

I’ve also been a big fan of Spider-Man. Growing up, I loved watching Spider-Man save people and at times I also felt somewhat like Peter Parker. However, the Peter Parker that is in the Amazing Spider-Man.

f648ecda51a63aab75e838bb72d09380

You know the one that is a bit more edgy and rides a skateboard. Loves photography but keeps that more of secrete. The Peter Parker that wants to get Gwen Stacy but feels that she is too much out of his league. Then the moment he tries to ask her out and it comes out with nothing coming out his mouth, but he walks away with a bit of a skip and  the biggest grin of his face. The Peter Parker that feels like he has to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders and because of life he doesn’t get to keep the girl. He pushes her way, when really, he needs her the most and then she moves or alters her life. Yet, he can’t stop thinking about her. Then, it is back to carrying the world. He also has a similar hairstyle to me.

I know it’s a bit sad to say but I just connected my life to a super hero. Maybe that is because I grew up in love with super heroes. My mom let me wear a cape as a child and I would pretend that I was the flash. When I got my truck, my friend named it Captain Crunch and me the Boy Wonder. I would drive off to save some aspect of the world. Lately, I’ve been watching Spider-Man on repeat because it just seems so fitting with life and I’ve wanted to escape the reality of my final semester. I  even got to do a photo-shot this semester with my buddies where I    was dressed in a Spider-Man costume. It was rather fun.

IMG_9976

(heres the raw of it)

I never realized how much people depend on me until this semester. Every day, someone at school would ask for help and have me teach them the principles. All of my group mates would depend on me to have many aspects of the projects done. Phone calls and Face-times to help many people with their homework. I’ve had to step up and take on leadership roles to guide these individuals to graduation. Then yesterday, I realized how much I do at work. My boss now wants to me train someone else on everything that I’ve been doing lately and have the up to date on my projects. It’s been what I’ve needed to help me escape my mind on the girl. Though she will occasionally creep her way into my thoughts and then I need to push them away. It has made me feel like I have to do so much or else it will never get done. I carry the weight of everyone around me. I have this notion that if I don’t, then I’m going to be letting everyone around me down. I have this fear that things won’t be done effectually and it’s not going to look good. I carry around so much and like Spider-Man, I just want to do good and succeed. I want to help the world in exchange for my stress.

The last relationship that I was in, the girl told me that I worry too much for the ones around me. That I need to let everyone around me start to carry their own burdens for a change. I just feel like I have a responsibility to help everyone. I push everyone close to me away so that I won’t hurt them. Like Spider-Man, my biggest fear is that I am going to fail. As I’ve been pondering on what is next in my life, I’ve been trying to think about what will make me happy and not those around me. It is the hardest thing that I’ve ever had to do. However, I’ve figured out my dream and passion and I’ve realized what I need to do to make sure that I am happy. As I’ve been pondering what will make me happy, I’ve found out who I  really love and it just might to late for me. So, guidelines will help me to get over her. Guidelines will help me to move forward.  Though, I  check on her a lot to make sure she is doing good and is happy (I’m not a stalker, I  promise)

So, 755 words later to show the world that I’m like Spider-Man and that I’m going after my dreams. Thank you for reading.


Wildflowers

Like Adele, I love trilogies. I feel that there is nothing better than getting lost in a good trilogy. Recently, I found out that the Amazing Spiderman movies were supposed to be a trilogy, but was stopped due to Disney. For some reason, this upsets me.  If you’ve been following my blog lately, I told you about the number one asked question in my life in the Mystery of Love. Then, in Love, Love, Love; I told you about the second most asked question in my life right. Well, to bring this full circle, I’ll let you in on the third most asked question of my life: what is the theme song of your life?

Music has become a huge part of my life. I listen to it when I’m happy, sad, depressed, angry, studying, or just to pass the time away. There is very limited time in my day to day life where I am not listening to music. So, if there was a soundtrack of my life, it would be Wildflowers by Tom Petty.

Tom Petty was a large part of my upbringing. My 80’s mother was in love with Tom Petty, he is her favorite artists of all time. We listened to Tom Petty like he was going out of style. I remember she would rewind or fast forward the tap while driving just to jam out to her favorite songs. I don’t think there was a month where we didn’t listen to Tom Petty. I can remember the volume would be blasted and my little self would sing every word to all his hits. Tom Petty truly is a legend and a big part of my life.

Wildflowers is by far my favorite Tom Petty song. I love the message that Petty is telling the world. Though its intentions are to be a love song for saying goodbye to a lover, I think that it gives me hope that the future can bring about anything that I desire and want. My favorite part is when it says to “let your heart be your guide.” I feel that my life has always been to please others and not myself. I’ve done everything with the thought of how it will impact those around me. I never truly do anything for me. I forget that I can do what I want to do as well. I can be free and explore the world around me. Anyone that truly knows me, knows that my life goal is to own a sailboat. Tom sings that “you belong in a boat out at sea.” It reminds me of my life goal. It is still in my grasp and attainable.

This song is a bookend to most major events in my life. It was the last song played on my IPod when my family made the big drive to drop me off at college in Montana. It was also the last song that came across my truck’s stereo when I drove out of Montana back into Washington. When I drove into Washington again, it was blasting on the radio. When I dropped my bags on the bedroom floor in Provo, it was the first song that I listened to as I unpacked, nervously. When I switched apartments in Provo, I again unpacked while listening to Wildflowers. I plan on finishing my time in Provo by listening to it.

May Tom Petty rest in peace. I  will continue to look for the wildflowers in life. Wildflowers truly is a song that embodies everything in my life. May it bring you hope as well.

21272632_1914300605254532_2067188913188617120_n

“You belong among the wildflowers
You belong in a boat out at sea
Sail away, kill off the hours
You belong somewhere you feel free

Run away, find you a lover
Go away somewhere all bright and new
I have seen no other
Who compares with you

You belong among the wildflowers
You belong in a boat out at sea
You belong with your love on your arm
You belong somewhere you feel free

Run away, go find a lover
Run away, let your heart be your guide
You deserve the deepest of cover
You belong in that home by and by

You belong among the wildflowers
You belong somewhere close to me
Far away from your trouble and worry
You belong somewhere you feel free
You belong somewhere you feel free”


Standing Ovation For Those That Deserve It The Most!

As I sit in my living reflecting on the past year, after taking my last final, I can’t help but think that 2017 is the year that I’ve experience the most growth. It was by far the most interesting year for me. I’ve thought about for a few weeks about how I wanted to write a post about this year as it was the year that I’ve been the quietest in the realms of social media. I found myself with a bad reputation and some interesting rumors that came with it. While sitting on a bike in the Grand Tetons, I came to conclusion to disappear. I deleted all social media from my phone and chose to limit on who would get to see me or hear from me. I stopped writing on my blog, I stopped posting on Facebook, I made a few posts on Instagram, and I got rid of SnapChat completely. I took one out of the page of Jay Gatsby, my favorite character in a book. Instead, I choose that I would put all my efforts to work, school, and church and I  shut my blinds. The parties and music stopped and I    disappeared from the world.

Around this decision, I read a book entitled Wonder. A book about a boy with an ugly face. This book truly changed my life. It teaches to be kind; and to see people for who they truly are inside and not their outward appearance. I started implementing the teaching of this book in my life. I looked for how I could have a “Wonder” moment each day to brighten the life of those that I encounter. I used this to stretch me and to hopefully change the way the world would see me. At one point of this book, the boy is given a standing ovation for being a true wonder to world. He feels that everyone that is a wonder in life deserves a standing ovation. Tonight, I am reminded of the wonders in my life in 2017. I feel that writing this post about those people would be the best way to reflect on this year. So buckle in and see the wonders of my life.

 

14718681_10209386383849776_5856158175273329914_nThe Cordons, my best friend and his adorable family deserve a standing ovation. Josh and I have really grown as best friends and continue to be there for each other. This year, his family got bigger with the addition of Todd. Todd is the best baby ever and being his manny has been a true gift. Josh and Kensey are always there to encourage me to go after anything and everything. The listen to me and give me the best advice needed. They have taught me the aspect of true love and what it is. They never judge me, but rather see me for who I really am. They allow them to serve them and they serve me back. They are the most wondrous people I know. I hit the lottery with having them in my life.IMG_1750

 

21034605_1903333249684601_1026058207780576313_nJackson Chandler, my fearless roommate deserves a standing ovation. As roommates, we’ve been through a lot. We’ve both changed and have helped each other to do so. He reminds me to seek after the things that we want the most in life. To go after the big goals and have no regrets in life. He’s there for the late-night chats and to encourage me to not quit when it gets hard. He has brought a lot of laughter in my life and forever grateful for that. He puts up with all my craziness and loud laughter. He marches to his own beat and does things his own way. He’s fearless and lives an extreme/ adventurous life. He knows what he wants and goes after it. He also has my back when needed the most.

 

15589945_10154894633954359_7685669958055294690_nHayley Harned, my longtime friend deserves a lot of standing ovations. Hayley and I’s friendship grew in rather a spiritual way this year. It was beautiful to teach Hayley about the Gospel that I cherish so much. She gets the rant texts and the frustration texts! She’s truly a saint to put up so much. She hears me out and makes me feel validated in many ways. She helps to calm me down in angry moments of life. She gets more than she ever bargained for. She inspires me to do more in life. I don’t know how she has time for everything that she does. She also reminds me to go above and beyond what I can do for others. She takes time out of her busy schedule for so many people and never asks anything in return. It’s an inspiring. She’s a wonder of her own!!

 

IMG_3255.JPGDillon Kunz, my amazing leader and neighbor deserves a huge standing ovation. This man is truly the greatest person!! He is so kind and loves everyone. He has the biggest heart of anyone that I have ever seen. This man serves everyone without even speaking. He teaches me daily to look for ways to serve those around me. I am beyond a better person for having him in my life. He loves God with all his heart and wants to do all that he can to please him. His spiritual strength motivates me to be better in all aspects of life. Being able to serve in a presidency with him this year has taught me so much. I often don’t think that I deserve his friendship. Truly the greatest person on this planet is Dillon Kunz.

 

1934925_81752435188_478093_nTiffany Elias, my motivator and coach needs a standing ovation for every time she has pushed me.  Tiffany has always been there to help me achieve lofty goals when it comes to exercise. She has never given up on me and rather finds ways to motivate me in the difficult times. In February, I called her and asked her to help me gain 40 pounds of muscle and she found a way to make that happen. I wouldn’t be where I am today without her help. She encourages me to know that I can still obtain all sorts of goals in life. This year, I got to see a new side of my dear friend with her situation changing when Mitch joined the military. It was amazing to witness the strength that this woman has to do hard things. She single handed supported her husband and took care of her two kids by herself. She is an amazing person and one that pushes me to new limits.

 

18813499_1910755395846894_2150628271351351392_nKinsie Paterson, my loud neighbor and dear friend deserves a loud standing ovation. Kinisie is a woman that takes life by storm and is not stopping. Get out of her way because there is nothing that can stop her from doing anything. I admire how dedicated she is to make the most out of this world. She sets goals and then obtains them. This woman is going to conquer the world and be the most successful person ever. She’s a breath of fresh air because she teaches me that I need to constantly be bettering myself. She reminds me that hard things can be accomplished. I’m amazed by how uncreditable she is and how strong she is. There is nothing that won’t stop this woman from doing anything. She also found herself in the midst of rumors and her example to me was exactly what I needed. I’ve learned so much from who she is in 2017.

 

IMG_2270Tyler Vonhatten, my crazy school mate and good friend deserves a standing ovation. This man is going to do everything with an amazing mustache. Tyler teaches me to stop and smell the roses. The connections that he makes are life time and, though he blazes a path of success, he stops to make everyone feel important. He takes life to the next level and never stops. This man is a joy and delight to work with. It’s an honor to call him my friend and classmate. I prayed for a friend and Tyler was an answer to that prayer. Honestly, he choose to be my friend and I’m so grateful that he did. He lifts my spirits on the hard days and the days that I  want to quit school he reminds to stick with it. I’m a perfectionist and he reminds me that life isn’t perfect, rather its messy. He has helped me to not take life so serious but to have fun in the process.

 

15822936_1546381128713150_2716268990418131738_nLastly, my family deserves the loudest standing ovation. Hailey is there to make me laugh and encourage me to continue through all things. My step father Rafael continues to remind me to work hard and never give up. My mother is always my sounding board. She seems to call me every time that I am about to cry or have a mental break down. My mom is my main motivation for so much in this world. The lessons that I  have learned from her can’t be counted. My family is always there for me and encourages me each day. They have made sacrifices and it reminds me all the time to work hard. My life wouldn’t be what it is without them. I couldn’t be more grateful to have the family that I do. I am so blessed to call them my eternal family. The standing ovation that they need couldn’t be loud enough!!

 

These people have shaped me and molded me to the person I am today. I couldn’t be more grateful to have them in my life. They’ve lifted me higher than I could ever imagine. 2017 taught me more about life than I could ever think. What a year it’s been. Heres to the a better 2018. At this point, will everyone reading this please stand up with me and give to these amazing people a standing ovation. I hope you can hear the claps I am giving you now! Thank you is not efficient for all they have done for me.


Hipster Mormon

Being one to proclaim my religion was never a thing I would choose to do my whole life till I went on my mission. In fact, going on my mission was the first time that I publicly declared to all my friends that I was Mormon. After serving two years in the south, I learned how religion really does make the person and to be proud of things that make you you. I use to be embarrassed to tell people that I was a Mormon. Being Mormon is like telling your friends your pregnant or homosexual. Its something that in society that is always very unacceptable, unless you live Utah. Being Mormon comes with all the crazy stereotypes: multiple wives, homemade clothing, and a family of at least seven to name few. However, I don’t fit the mold of your typical Mormon at all, which was another reason I never allowed people to know that I was Mormon. In fact, most Mormons don’t fit the “Mormon Mold” expect those that are the mold. I watched people in high school and college get made fun of for being a Mormon. It was something that I never wanted to happen to me, so I kept it quiet. However, I am very proud to be a Mormon. Being a Mormon is the greatest thing in my life. It allows for me to be who I am. It was helped me come closer to God and Jesus Christ. As a Mormon, I am Christian. I fully love Christ and try hard to be like him. I study from the scriptures each day for the purpose of studying who Christ is. I love Christ more than anything. Being a Mormon gives me so much purpose and direction to my life. It is what makes my life so meaningful. It what motivates me to be the crazy, outgoing, wheat thin lover, die hard runner, hipster person that I am. I might not be the traditional person but I am so proud to be a Mormon. I am not scared to say that I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints but rather I am beyond glad to declare that I am a Mormon! Embracing my Mormon life has been one of greatest blessings for me.