Category Archives: Uncategorized

Standing Ovation For Those That Deserve It The Most!

As I sit in my living reflecting on the past year, after taking my last final, I can’t help but think that 2017 is the year that I’ve experience the most growth. It was by far the most interesting year for me. I’ve thought about for a few weeks about how I wanted to write a post about this year as it was the year that I’ve been the quietest in the realms of social media. I found myself with a bad reputation and some interesting rumors that came with it. While sitting on a bike in the Grand Tetons, I came to conclusion to disappear. I deleted all social media from my phone and chose to limit on who would get to see me or hear from me. I stopped writing on my blog, I stopped posting on Facebook, I made a few posts on Instagram, and I got rid of SnapChat completely. I took one out of the page of Jay Gatsby, my favorite character in a book. Instead, I choose that I would put all my efforts to work, school, and church and I  shut my blinds. The parties and music stopped and I    disappeared from the world.

Around this decision, I read a book entitled Wonder. A book about a boy with an ugly face. This book truly changed my life. It teaches to be kind; and to see people for who they truly are inside and not their outward appearance. I started implementing the teaching of this book in my life. I looked for how I could have a “Wonder” moment each day to brighten the life of those that I encounter. I used this to stretch me and to hopefully change the way the world would see me. At one point of this book, the boy is given a standing ovation for being a true wonder to world. He feels that everyone that is a wonder in life deserves a standing ovation. Tonight, I am reminded of the wonders in my life in 2017. I feel that writing this post about those people would be the best way to reflect on this year. So buckle in and see the wonders of my life.

 

14718681_10209386383849776_5856158175273329914_nThe Cordons, my best friend and his adorable family deserve a standing ovation. Josh and I have really grown as best friends and continue to be there for each other. This year, his family got bigger with the addition of Todd. Todd is the best baby ever and being his manny has been a true gift. Josh and Kensey are always there to encourage me to go after anything and everything. The listen to me and give me the best advice needed. They have taught me the aspect of true love and what it is. They never judge me, but rather see me for who I really am. They allow them to serve them and they serve me back. They are the most wondrous people I know. I hit the lottery with having them in my life.IMG_1750

 

21034605_1903333249684601_1026058207780576313_nJackson Chandler, my fearless roommate deserves a standing ovation. As roommates, we’ve been through a lot. We’ve both changed and have helped each other to do so. He reminds me to seek after the things that we want the most in life. To go after the big goals and have no regrets in life. He’s there for the late-night chats and to encourage me to not quit when it gets hard. He has brought a lot of laughter in my life and forever grateful for that. He puts up with all my craziness and loud laughter. He marches to his own beat and does things his own way. He’s fearless and lives an extreme/ adventurous life. He knows what he wants and goes after it. He also has my back when needed the most.

 

15589945_10154894633954359_7685669958055294690_nHayley Harned, my longtime friend deserves a lot of standing ovations. Hayley and I’s friendship grew in rather a spiritual way this year. It was beautiful to teach Hayley about the Gospel that I cherish so much. She gets the rant texts and the frustration texts! She’s truly a saint to put up so much. She hears me out and makes me feel validated in many ways. She helps to calm me down in angry moments of life. She gets more than she ever bargained for. She inspires me to do more in life. I don’t know how she has time for everything that she does. She also reminds me to go above and beyond what I can do for others. She takes time out of her busy schedule for so many people and never asks anything in return. It’s an inspiring. She’s a wonder of her own!!

 

IMG_3255.JPGDillon Kunz, my amazing leader and neighbor deserves a huge standing ovation. This man is truly the greatest person!! He is so kind and loves everyone. He has the biggest heart of anyone that I have ever seen. This man serves everyone without even speaking. He teaches me daily to look for ways to serve those around me. I am beyond a better person for having him in my life. He loves God with all his heart and wants to do all that he can to please him. His spiritual strength motivates me to be better in all aspects of life. Being able to serve in a presidency with him this year has taught me so much. I often don’t think that I deserve his friendship. Truly the greatest person on this planet is Dillon Kunz.

 

1934925_81752435188_478093_nTiffany Elias, my motivator and coach needs a standing ovation for every time she has pushed me.  Tiffany has always been there to help me achieve lofty goals when it comes to exercise. She has never given up on me and rather finds ways to motivate me in the difficult times. In February, I called her and asked her to help me gain 40 pounds of muscle and she found a way to make that happen. I wouldn’t be where I am today without her help. She encourages me to know that I can still obtain all sorts of goals in life. This year, I got to see a new side of my dear friend with her situation changing when Mitch joined the military. It was amazing to witness the strength that this woman has to do hard things. She single handed supported her husband and took care of her two kids by herself. She is an amazing person and one that pushes me to new limits.

 

18813499_1910755395846894_2150628271351351392_nKinsie Paterson, my loud neighbor and dear friend deserves a loud standing ovation. Kinisie is a woman that takes life by storm and is not stopping. Get out of her way because there is nothing that can stop her from doing anything. I admire how dedicated she is to make the most out of this world. She sets goals and then obtains them. This woman is going to conquer the world and be the most successful person ever. She’s a breath of fresh air because she teaches me that I need to constantly be bettering myself. She reminds me that hard things can be accomplished. I’m amazed by how uncreditable she is and how strong she is. There is nothing that won’t stop this woman from doing anything. She also found herself in the midst of rumors and her example to me was exactly what I needed. I’ve learned so much from who she is in 2017.

 

IMG_2270Tyler Vonhatten, my crazy school mate and good friend deserves a standing ovation. This man is going to do everything with an amazing mustache. Tyler teaches me to stop and smell the roses. The connections that he makes are life time and, though he blazes a path of success, he stops to make everyone feel important. He takes life to the next level and never stops. This man is a joy and delight to work with. It’s an honor to call him my friend and classmate. I prayed for a friend and Tyler was an answer to that prayer. Honestly, he choose to be my friend and I’m so grateful that he did. He lifts my spirits on the hard days and the days that I  want to quit school he reminds to stick with it. I’m a perfectionist and he reminds me that life isn’t perfect, rather its messy. He has helped me to not take life so serious but to have fun in the process.

 

15822936_1546381128713150_2716268990418131738_nLastly, my family deserves the loudest standing ovation. Hailey is there to make me laugh and encourage me to continue through all things. My step father Rafael continues to remind me to work hard and never give up. My mother is always my sounding board. She seems to call me every time that I am about to cry or have a mental break down. My mom is my main motivation for so much in this world. The lessons that I  have learned from her can’t be counted. My family is always there for me and encourages me each day. They have made sacrifices and it reminds me all the time to work hard. My life wouldn’t be what it is without them. I couldn’t be more grateful to have the family that I do. I am so blessed to call them my eternal family. The standing ovation that they need couldn’t be loud enough!!

 

These people have shaped me and molded me to the person I am today. I couldn’t be more grateful to have them in my life. They’ve lifted me higher than I could ever imagine. 2017 taught me more about life than I could ever think. What a year it’s been. Heres to the a better 2018. At this point, will everyone reading this please stand up with me and give to these amazing people a standing ovation. I hope you can hear the claps I am giving you now! Thank you is not efficient for all they have done for me.

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Soundtrack Of My Life

Music is one of the biggest influences on my life. I seem to always have some sort of music playing at all times. I really love it. I have a weird sense of music that seems to be all over the place. I feel that music is a way for me to emotionally connect and its been an outlet for many avenues in my life. I’ve noticed that I go through these phases and each phase comes with an album of its own. Those that know me best, know that I am an advocate for the album rather than a single. There is just something so special about an album to me. Its a true body of work that tells a story. I love the messages that can be found from a certain one. Whenever I transition into a phase of my life, there seems to be an album from an artist or band that just embodies my life. It becomes a large part of my life and I play that album on repeat for days, months, and even years (no joke!). Those around me have even gotten annoyed with me but don’t understand why I listen to it so much.

My whole life can be summed up by ten albums. Ten albums that show the progression of my life and have played major parts to the development of who I am. Those ten albums are some that I’m proud of and a little embarrassed at times. However, these albums hold a very special place in my heart, so no judgement.

Number 1: Millennium by the Backstreet Boys

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The start of the boy bands for me. This was the first cd that I ever owned and it is full of the greatest songs. Growing up, the Backstreet Boys were the greatest band of all time to me. My sister, Kendall was all about N’Sync and we would often fight about which one of the two bands were better. For my birthday, my mother bought this album for me with a new walkman! I would rewind the tape just so I could hear I Want it That Way multiple times. My mother would eventually barrow this tape from me and we would jam out in her car. It was true bliss. My mother has always taught me to listen to music loud with the windows down. Those are some of my favorite moments with my mother as a child. Sundays usually would entail a drive in the country, listening to everything and then some. This album always reminds me of those good times. I then would fall asleep, and wake up in my bed some how. Having a young mother made for a lot of fun adventures. My mother is the one that triggered my sense of adventure and it all started in a Honda Accord with the Backstreet Boys.

Number 2 – Enema of the State  by Blink 182

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My first Nast CD and the begging of a new era. Byron Hunt, my middle school best friend, introduced this CD to me by giving it a birthday gift. My mother was not happy one bit and wanted to take it away many times. However, she couldn’t due to all the songs being entrapped in my mind. This album made me feel rebellious and helped me escape the world of middle school. My favorite memory was air guitaring All the Small Things with Byron to Ali Suhadolnik at the Toppinsh Livestock Show. Byron’s camper was next to Ali’s tent and she came out to quiet the show that evening. However, the album would help me escape the frustrations of life. I’d put this CD into my boombox and play Mario Kart for what seemed like an eternity. It spoke to the pains of hating the world that I lived in and being bullied by others.

Number 3- Plans by Death Cab for Cutie

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I’m asked all the time what my favorite band is. Its no surprise that I love Death Cab! They just speak to me in a way that no else does. Death Cab came into my life my freshmen year of high school and has never left. This album expressed many of the things that I wanted to say but didn’t know how to. Growing up in a home where love wasn’t the first priority was hard. I began to trap the real feelings that I had inside and have begun to release them now. Death Cab was my first weird music that I listened to and became a gateway to many other weird things. Death Cab also began my obsession for depressing songs. This album is the one that scared my parents. I use to listen to this on repeat all high school. Eventually, my mother would sit me down and ask me if I was sucicidal. The answer was no. Looking back, I can see where she would think that. It became banned and wasn’t allowed to be played. However, when I moved to college, I bought another CD and it would help me get through the transition of adulating.

Number 4- Speak Now by Taylor Swift 

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Oh Taylor Swift! Taylor Swift was the love of my life. I could have married that girl. Taylor Swift is an incredible writer that seemed to write things about my life. This album came out at the end of my sophomore year of college and it was a time where I was frustrated with love. I was trying to hold on to a love that wasn’t in the cards. I was beginning to figure out the causes for all my problems. I just wanted to feel okay again. It was the start of a slippery slope. This album has a song called Never Grow Up. I was realizing that my life needed to take more direction and I didn’t want to grow up. I didn’t want to make those decisions and I wanted to live in a life with no responsibilities. More important, the song Mean became a staple for two individuals that had wronged me in life. As I was beginning to touch the surface of what made me feel the way that I did, I had so much anger for these two people and this song became my source of comfort. I began to move forward in life with the mindset of proving them wrong and being better than them.

Number 5- 21 by Adele 

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Pour Austin Stuchell would have to hear no end to Adele. I’m 90% sure that he can’t listen to this album to this day. As a junior in college, I became extremely depressed and I discovered that I had anxiety. I found myself extremely stressed from running track and cross country, working a full schedule, and taking more than 18 credits. As a perfectionist, I found myself slipping in all aspects of life. I didn’t want to be around others and I didn’t want to do anything. I was burnt out and angry at the world. Adele 21 helped me have hope for life again. It was angry white women music and it was depressing. It had so many things that I was feeling in regards to my life. I was really confused in life and didn’t know what I wanted. I had so many people telling me what they wanted me to do and I felt there was this pressure to please everyone. I just really wanted to have everyone be satisfied with the decisions that I was making. I found myself getting migraines daily and I just couldn’t be happy.  This album made me feel okay with life and was there when I needed it the most. It paved the way for the next phase.

 

Number 6- Up All Night by One Direction 

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Thats right, I bought 1D’s very first album. One Direction is my guilty pleasure in life. Its that band that I secretly love and don’t want anyone to know. However, senior year of college in Montana will always be remembered by this album. It was the era of parties and late night papers. I started senior year still depressed and looking to escape. I lost a lot of friends that year. However, second semester was a time of bouncing back. I finally figured out what I wanted to do with my life. I finally was going to live my dream of living in Portland and it was time to let loose. My closest friends and I took a road trip after graduation and this CD was the only source of music for us. Lucky for us that I had brought it! Senior year also found me with an injury that ended my running career as a collegiate athlete. 1D became a source of taking my mind off the pain and helped me not go back into depression. My landlord, Virginia, would always tell me that she could me hear me singing to the album when I was in the shower. She told me that I could be part of this band and I would just laugh at her. It was a change of pace that was needed in my life.

Number 7- The Mormon Tabernacle Choir 

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Moving to Portland was a dream since I was child. I got accepted into school and was all ready to start my life there. Then, the Lord told me no. He told me to go to home and stay there. I couldn’t figure out why but after six months home, I found myself leaving to start a mission for my religion. I had been called to serve in the Florida Jacksonville Mission for a period of two years. For two years, I put my life on hold as I served the Lord and those that live in Georgia and Florida. I wan’t allowed to listen to music except church related. Before my mission, I hated the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. However, luck found me that everyone of my companions loved them. It was weird to me but in time, I found myself tolerating them. This was a time of much spiritual growth and for the first time, I felt that I knew who my Savior was. I had a front row show to the atonement of Jesus Christ and I loved it. My mission was not easy and taught me many things about who I was, life, and about what I wanted to do in life.

Number 8- Carrie & Lowell  by Sufjan Stevens

dbfa1978Coming home from my mission was probably the hardest thing that I have ever done. Life was really hard to adjust to, especially not being able to walk. I found myself missing and longing to be back in Florida. I was able to find help from five major people. However, life was talking many turns. Again, I found myself under lots of pressure and it was hard to handle. Carrie & Lowell is an album that Sufjan Stevens wrote for his dead mother. I felt dead inside and this album matched my pains. It made me think of life previous to my “death”. I didn’t know how to have fun anymore and I began slipping back into a depression.  I was trying so hard to make decisions that pleased others and not myself.  For the first time, I found myself wondering if life was worth living and the last few songs on this album taught me that I could. They give a new respect to the life that we do live and caring on the legacy of those before us. It gave me a bounce back and sense of being. It literally saved my life.

Number 9 – Strange Trails by Lord Huron 

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Alright, I will admit that this is a weird album. I love it so much though. They truly are songs from the unknown as the cover art tells. However, they spoke to my soul when moving to Utah. Utah is a strange place and I was broken hearted. I had lost the girl and I was in an unknown place full of weird people. Provo, Utah is quiet the experience and is a bit of cultural shook at first. This album couldn’t describe Provo any better! Lord Huron sings about how love is like ghosts and wanting to go back to in time and stopping himself from loving the girl. Well, thats how love was for me at first here. My heart was empty and I didn’t know what to do. Going on dates was hard and I wasn’t invested in them. Fool for Love reminds of me just wanting to be in a relationship so I would ask many girls out. There for awhile, I averaged three to four dates a week. Not the most healthy thing that I have done. I was hallow inside and unsure of what to expect.  It truly paved the way for the next album.

Number 10- Cleopatra by the Lumineers

cd663f4fcf6f0ce290a085d8b337a055aac7ac72This phase has been lived for about a year and half now. It was a fun phase as I begun to live a life similar to these songs. I was grieving life like Cleopatra as I was beginning to say goodbye people. I was growing up in ways that can’t have been guessed. I’ve been focusing on school and my career, instead of not focusing on love. I wasn’t being a fool falling in love and I’ve been focusing on the things that matter most. I’ve felt like Gale’s song not wining the love of a best friend. I’ve learned patience, more so in myself than in others, just like the song depicts. I’ve seen the light and have had hope to carry on with my life. I find hope in all aspects of my life.

I’ve entered the 11th album of my life- Harry Styles by Harry Styles. 

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An album that I never dreamed that would fit me so good. I kinda felt that Cleopatra would be around much longer. However, a new phase of life begun at the beginning of May. A new phase that I am excited to see where it takes me in life. So, with every new phase, a new album begins. I look forward to taking this journey and seeing what good will come out of it. For now, I continue to listen and see what happens now. After all, its the sign of the times.

 

 

 

 


This Is Me

I always seem to get asked why are you not married? My favorite: Whats is wrong with you that others seem to see? Why can’t you keep a girl longer than a month?

I usually shrug and go on with my life like there is not a issue. I just go about my life and don’t give those questions much thought after. The truth is though, I do know the answers to all of those questions. In fact there has always been a reason for my madness.

I am a very simple person. So simple that I am very predictable. I find it funny because lots of people think I’m very complex. They think there is a lot to me but really, I am a very simple man. I do things because I want to and I do the same things in patterns. A, then B, then C. That is who I am. I never let people in and keep my life private. I let people have the illusion that I am open person because I talk and relate with others but I only give people a surface level.

Relationships end for me when girls want a deep level with me. I understand that opening up and discussing things is vital for trust and love to grow. Being honest is very important but there are aspects that I can’t and won’t talk about. So when girls start asking and wondering, I get distant and then eventually end things. All of my relationships, with the exception of two, have a very similar pattern:

  1. Start dating
  2. Things are good and fun
  3. Girl shares personal things about life
  4. I listen
  5. Girl asks questions and wants to really know me
  6. I get distant and standoffish
  7. End of Relationship

Its been my safety net and I am ok with it. My thoughts are, someone else will come along. There will always be another girl. However, thats very unhealthy and I’ve been wanting to change that about myself.

I watched a show that completely changed my life (so weird to admit) and that has opened up many things for me. This show brought up all my insecurities, fears, and doubts in regards to marriage and being a father. This show made me think and cry. It made me angry and happy. It made ponder on many things. The last episode had a line that really taught me and changed my outlook of my relationships. As Jack is speaking to his wife about his children, he says:

“Sometimes they’ll make good decisions. Sometimes bad decisions. And every once in a while, they’re gonna do something that’s gonna knock us off our feet. Something that exceeds even our wildest dreams. Our kids are gonna be fine.”

It hit me, instantly, that I can do things completely different than the example that I was showed. I can exceed the expectations that is bound in me.  I can be the father that I never had. I can completely do something that will exceed my upbringing. I know for a fact that I will never beat my children or wife. I will never leave my children and not take care of their wellbeing. I will never, ever, make my children scared of me. I can choose the outcome of my relationships and I’m not be bound by the ways of the past. It was like a light bulb went off in my head and I realized all of this.

I move forward, ready to being a different person in regards to dating. I’m excited to change the pattern to being a person that is willing to take risks. I am ready to begin letting my guard down and to actually purse a relationship thanks to my Heavenly Father. I’m ready to trust myself because I realize that I won’t be alone. I know that I can do this! I am Riley James, a very simple man.

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The Last Goodbye

My name is Riley James Frazier and I am a lot of things. I am a dreamer, a fighter, a hypster by nature, a son of God, a Washingtonian, a wheat thin lover, smoothie devourer, runner, gym nut, health freak, and list goes on. Above everything that I am, I take pride in knowing that I am one that doesn’t quit and gives up.

With that being said, for the first time ever, I wanted to quit with all the fibers in my body yesterday. I wanted to quit school and move back to Washington state. I wanted nothing more than to leave Provo and never come back. I wanted everything to be done! The pressure was too much and people are rude! As I sat on my bedroom ground, I wanted nothing more than to pack all my belongs up and get on the next flight to Portland.

I hit a wall last night so perhaps I should turn back the wheels of time and explain what lead to the catastrophic moment of time.  I’m exactly two weeks into my final semester as a student. I’m currently in the middle of writing my thesis paper, the paper that brings six years of higher education to a point. A whomping fifty pages on collection of everything I’ve learned in my marketing program and consumer behavior. Basically, to sum it up, this paper sucks major!! MAJOR! To top it off, I still have classes with their own papers, case studies, readings, and classes to attend.

Living in Utah comes with it own problems as well. As a  26 year old man, according to the society I live in, I should have already been married and had at least one child. However, I am not married and I don’t have children. Rather, I walk the earth alone in my own world. People in Utah, particularly my program, are just darn rude. I’m ostracized on the daily and usually I don’t let it affect. However, some days the comments hurt too much. Sometimes, it hurts to be the one bullied, even when you’re trying your best.

So, I let the pressures of school and society effect me. I truly broke down and wanted to escape from all reality. While crying on the floor, a roommate was there to lend an ear and truly to mourn with those that mourn. In this moment, I was reminded of my favorite commercial.

As a marketing major, I’ve had the joy of dissecting many commercials. I’ve looked at what is good with them and what is bad. I’ve never been a fan of commercials, if I’m being completely honest. The purpose of a commercial is to inspire, motivate, and to get others to act. Well, there are very few commercials that get me to do that. However, there is one that takes the cake. In 2016, Under Armour began releasing ads six months prior to the olympics with olympian athletes. Among these came one with Micheal Phelps that stands above the rest.  Set to the song, Last Goodbye by the Kills, and showing the hard process Phelps makes by himself to prepare for the victory. The road is lonesome and he must endure most things.  Its truly just breath taking and I could go on for ever about how much I love it!  But thats beside the point as this post is not an endorsement for Under Armour.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xh9jAD1ofm4 
(click to be inspired)

 

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While being comforted by a roommate’ I was reminded that what we do in the dark, by ourselves, will be seen in the light. I was reminded that I am not a quitter but a fighter. Though I’m still unsure, I know that it will work out. I will prevail victoriously. So I said goodbye to the thoughts of leaving and quitting. I said goodbye to the tears down my face and got back on track. Though its going to be the most intense semester of life, I know that I can do it. We never truly gain a victory on our own but rather its family and friends that help us succeed. True character is found in the lowest moments and its how we bounce back from the falls. I was lucky to have a roommate that was so in tune to inspiration as I was telling God my plan to leave and call it all quits. Heres to the bounce back and motivation to continue past the haters!

My name is Riley James Frazier and I don’t quit! I push through the hard days and the negativity. I am dreamer, fighter, a true hypster, and so many things!

 

It’s the last goodbye I swear
I can’t rely on a dime a day love that don’t go anywhere
I learn to cry for someone else
I can’t get by on an odds and ends love that don’t ever match up
I heard all you said and I took it to heart

I won’t forget I swear
I have no regrets for the past is behind me
Tomorrow reminds me just where

Can’t quite see the end
How can I rely on my heart if I break it with my own two hands?
I heard all you said and I love you to death
I heard all you said don’t say anything

It’s the last goodbye I swear
I can’t survive on a half-hearted love that will never be whole


The Theory of Everything

I’m Riley James Frazier. A simple man. Who doesn’t really know much in life. In fact, I barely know anything. The things I do know are simple but impactful.

I know that I have a God, a Savior named Jesus Christ, and that I love them all deeply. I know that God loves all of his children deeply and that is why he gave us our Savior, Jesus Christ. I am very grateful for the love that God has for each person. He knows each of us individually and knows the struggles of our lives. I am grateful that when we are struggling, all we need to do is ask. Through prayer, we are able to express the thoughts and feelings to our God. I love that He hears those prayers and is willing to answer them.

I know for a fact that Jesus Christ suffered all the pains that we have and will ever feel in this life. If we turn to Jesus, then we can be lifted up in those moments of need. I am grateful that Christ’s hand is always extended to each of us. All we have to do is to be willing to grab hold of it. I know that Christ will always be there for me. I love my Savior very much.

I’m Riley James Frazier, a man of simple things. I might not know a lot but I’m learning.


The Good Life

After heartbreak, regret, disappointment, grief, and or anger welcomes themselves into my life, its natural for me to shut the world out. I personally find myself shutting the world out and not letting anyone find me. People ask me what I do and where I go when I shut the world out. The truth is, I find myself devoting myself more to my studies, running, work, and my relationship with God (not in that particular order either). I usually spend more hours than usual in the Temple, at least forty hours in the library for the week, harder focus at work, and bust it in the gym for large period of times. I find that shutting the outside world out helps me to focus on what matters the most and lets me hide a bit from my problems. It also gives me the chance to think. Being alone is something that I actually enjoy, which people find hard to believe. Being alone is a very comforting thing for me. Being alone lets me regroup my thoughts and then decide what I want to do to move forward. I like things to be quiet and peaceful. I find that the outside world is rather loud and I can’t always be the person that I want to be. So I retreat to the places where I don’t have to be around people. I justify in my mind that if I’m in places where people can’t be with me, then I don’t have talk to people. Many people don’t believe when I tell them that I am extremely introverted person but I am. I like to exclude the world and be alone.

Around the end of August/ beginning of September, I began shutting the outside world out again. I purposely didn’t answer phone calls or didn’t turn my phone on for long periods of time. I’ve hid in the Provo City Center Temple and the library. I’ve hid in the mountains near my house as I’ve gone for long runs or adventures with my roommates. I’ve only allowed my roommates and select few individuals to see me and know about my whereabouts. I’ve kept myself grounded and in my house. Its been really peaceful to not to see people. I’ve turned to my Father in Heaven for much guidance and light. In these moments, I’ve come to really feel the love that God has for me. I’ve felt his peace and healing power to help me in a time of much struggle.

Lately, I’ve been allowing myself to branch out and set social goals (yes, I have to set goals to interact with other individuals). I’ve begun to meet people in my ward, see people from my mission, and grow closer with my roommates. I’ve set goals to buckle down and get things done during the week so I could have the chance to interact with others on my weekends. Moving forward isn’t always the easiest thing for me but its something that must be done.

The past two weekends have been ones where I’ve had moments where I’ve had chances to reflect on things in the most random times. First, I went to Moab with my roommates and while sitting in-between two arches, I realized that that the Lord has really guided me to live with amazing men of God who help me in so many ways. They are so patient with me and understand when to back off and when to ask inspired questions for my progression. They don’t push me but rather are there for guidance and support. They bring much needed laughter and love at critical times. They see me for who I can be and help lift me to that person.

 

Then this weekend, I ran a half marathon with two amazing people from my mission. One of which I was able to run 12 of the 13.1 miles together talking. This was the first time I was social in a race and it was so needed. Being able to just talk about anything and everything was nice. However, it was after the race when I was invited to attend a OneRepublic concert with my best friend and his family that I realized much more. There was a moment halfway through this concert that I realized that God has really given me exactly what I need in life. He is so aware of who I am and who I need to get through the hardest of things. He has placed amazing people in my life that know exactly how to deal with my situations. He has given so much in times of need that I can’t help but be grateful.

I really do have a good life. A life that I couldn’t even dream of. I have much to be happy for. Moving forward into the future is something I’m excited for. I truly love all that has been given to me and the chance to regroup and figure my next steps in life. I look forward to being social again. To letting the world see me again. Though life is hard its not bad but rather good.

 

 

 

 


Provo Love Song

The town of Provo is a very interesting place. It has two of just about everything. There are two temples, two colleges, two canyons, two all-star apartment complexes, two Sodaliciouses, and the list goes on. Its the place to find things. Many come to find their future spouse, to find themselves, to find God, to find a new life, and again the list goes on and on. Its been my home for just over a year now, which is weird to think because time has gone by fast. I like to think as this place as the dating capital because people really live the American Country Love Song here. There are many boys who are trying to find and run away with girls’ hearts. There is always one more kiss before dropping her off at the door. Same old pickup lines get used every day and after three months of dating, he will get down on one knee.

Like others, my Provo experience has been full of ups and downs. I moved here swallowing my pride as I told myself that I would never live in Utah in a million years. However, I found myself packing my bags and unlocking an apartment on the south-side of campus. I spent six months convinced it was the worst place on the whole planet. I thought this place couldn’t get any worse and then something would happen that would top the next worse experience. I thought every person was either rude or weird. It was freezing cold and my beanie collection had me sticking out hard.

However, after six months of living here, I choose to change my attitude. I was humbled by the words of Jacob in the Book of Mormon; which taught me that there is no such thing as a bad area in the Lord’s vineyard. Jacob taught me that the worst area could bring forth the most fruit as long as the servant went to work.  So I rolled up my sleeves and went to work. I found myself giving service to everyone around me. I found myself investing myself in everything that Provo had to offer. I strengthen my friendships. I actually started living the American Country Love Song life. I found love and lost love a few times.

After a year of living in Provo, I’m convinced that it’s the greatest place ever. Its truly a place where what you put in is what you get out. So many people move there and hate it. Grant it, there are some weird and marriage hungry people here but for the most part, the people are the best. Its full of many opportunities that are just waiting to be grasped. It truly is the most blessed place on earth. The football team might need some help but I’m loving every aspect of Provo. Provo has become such a sacred place in my heart. One that I cherish deeply and am always excited for it throws at me. I’m truly living the dream and am blessed. I have the best job, best roommates, best program in school, best adventures, best temple, and again the list goes on and on. I truly love Provo, Utah!

 

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