The Theory of Everything

I’m Riley James Frazier. A simple man. Who doesn’t really know much in life. In fact, I barely know anything. The things I do know are simple but impactful.

I know that I have a God, a Savior named Jesus Christ, and that I love them all deeply. I know that God loves all of his children deeply and that is why he gave us our Savior, Jesus Christ. I am very grateful for the love that God has for each person. He knows each of us individually and knows the struggles of our lives. I am grateful that when we are struggling, all we need to do is ask. Through prayer, we are able to express the thoughts and feelings to our God. I love that He hears those prayers and is willing to answer them.

I know for a fact that Jesus Christ suffered all the pains that we have and will ever feel in this life. If we turn to Jesus, then we can be lifted up in those moments of need. I am grateful that Christ’s hand is always extended to each of us. All we have to do is to be willing to grab hold of it. I know that Christ will always be there for me. I love my Savior very much.

I’m Riley James Frazier, a man of simple things. I might not know a lot but I’m learning.


The Good Life

After heartbreak, regret, disappointment, grief, and or anger welcomes themselves into my life, its natural for me to shut the world out. I personally find myself shutting the world out and not letting anyone find me. People ask me what I do and where I go when I shut the world out. The truth is, I find myself devoting myself more to my studies, running, work, and my relationship with God (not in that particular order either). I usually spend more hours than usual in the Temple, at least forty hours in the library for the week, harder focus at work, and bust it in the gym for large period of times. I find that shutting the outside world out helps me to focus on what matters the most and lets me hide a bit from my problems. It also gives me the chance to think. Being alone is something that I actually enjoy, which people find hard to believe. Being alone is a very comforting thing for me. Being alone lets me regroup my thoughts and then decide what I want to do to move forward. I like things to be quiet and peaceful. I find that the outside world is rather loud and I can’t always be the person that I want to be. So I retreat to the places where I don’t have to be around people. I justify in my mind that if I’m in places where people can’t be with me, then I don’t have talk to people. Many people don’t believe when I tell them that I am extremely introverted person but I am. I like to exclude the world and be alone.

Around the end of August/ beginning of September, I began shutting the outside world out again. I purposely didn’t answer phone calls or didn’t turn my phone on for long periods of time. I’ve hid in the Provo City Center Temple and the library. I’ve hid in the mountains near my house as I’ve gone for long runs or adventures with my roommates. I’ve only allowed my roommates and select few individuals to see me and know about my whereabouts. I’ve kept myself grounded and in my house. Its been really peaceful to not to see people. I’ve turned to my Father in Heaven for much guidance and light. In these moments, I’ve come to really feel the love that God has for me. I’ve felt his peace and healing power to help me in a time of much struggle.

Lately, I’ve been allowing myself to branch out and set social goals (yes, I have to set goals to interact with other individuals). I’ve begun to meet people in my ward, see people from my mission, and grow closer with my roommates. I’ve set goals to buckle down and get things done during the week so I could have the chance to interact with others on my weekends. Moving forward isn’t always the easiest thing for me but its something that must be done.

The past two weekends have been ones where I’ve had moments where I’ve had chances to reflect on things in the most random times. First, I went to Moab with my roommates and while sitting in-between two arches, I realized that that the Lord has really guided me to live with amazing men of God who help me in so many ways. They are so patient with me and understand when to back off and when to ask inspired questions for my progression. They don’t push me but rather are there for guidance and support. They bring much needed laughter and love at critical times. They see me for who I can be and help lift me to that person.


Then this weekend, I ran a half marathon with two amazing people from my mission. One of which I was able to run 12 of the 13.1 miles together talking. This was the first time I was social in a race and it was so needed. Being able to just talk about anything and everything was nice. However, it was after the race when I was invited to attend a OneRepublic concert with my best friend and his family that I realized much more. There was a moment halfway through this concert that I realized that God has really given me exactly what I need in life. He is so aware of who I am and who I need to get through the hardest of things. He has placed amazing people in my life that know exactly how to deal with my situations. He has given so much in times of need that I can’t help but be grateful.

I really do have a good life. A life that I couldn’t even dream of. I have much to be happy for. Moving forward into the future is something I’m excited for. I truly love all that has been given to me and the chance to regroup and figure my next steps in life. I look forward to being social again. To letting the world see me again. Though life is hard its not bad but rather good.





Provo Love Song

The town of Provo is a very interesting place. It has two of just about everything. There are two temples, two colleges, two canyons, two all-star apartment complexes, two Sodaliciouses, and the list goes on. Its the place to find things. Many come to find their future spouse, to find themselves, to find God, to find a new life, and again the list goes on and on. Its been my home for just over a year now, which is weird to think because time has gone by fast. I like to think as this place as the dating capital because people really live the American Country Love Song here. There are many boys who are trying to find and run away with girls’ hearts. There is always one more kiss before dropping her off at the door. Same old pickup lines get used every day and after three months of dating, he will get down on one knee.

Like others, my Provo experience has been full of ups and downs. I moved here swallowing my pride as I told myself that I would never live in Utah in a million years. However, I found myself packing my bags and unlocking an apartment on the south-side of campus. I spent six months convinced it was the worst place on the whole planet. I thought this place couldn’t get any worse and then something would happen that would top the next worse experience. I thought every person was either rude or weird. It was freezing cold and my beanie collection had me sticking out hard.

However, after six months of living here, I choose to change my attitude. I was humbled by the words of Jacob in the Book of Mormon; which taught me that there is no such thing as a bad area in the Lord’s vineyard. Jacob taught me that the worst area could bring forth the most fruit as long as the servant went to work.  So I rolled up my sleeves and went to work. I found myself giving service to everyone around me. I found myself investing myself in everything that Provo had to offer. I strengthen my friendships. I actually started living the American Country Love Song life. I found love and lost love a few times.

After a year of living in Provo, I’m convinced that it’s the greatest place ever. Its truly a place where what you put in is what you get out. So many people move there and hate it. Grant it, there are some weird and marriage hungry people here but for the most part, the people are the best. Its full of many opportunities that are just waiting to be grasped. It truly is the most blessed place on earth. The football team might need some help but I’m loving every aspect of Provo. Provo has become such a sacred place in my heart. One that I cherish deeply and am always excited for it throws at me. I’m truly living the dream and am blessed. I have the best job, best roommates, best program in school, best adventures, best temple, and again the list goes on and on. I truly love Provo, Utah!



Worthy Not Perfect

The need to be perfect in all aspects of my life is a major problem that I have. My competitive nature doesn’t help either but instead adds to having to be perfect and better than those around me. On my mission, I came to realize that this was a bad thing, especially when comparing to myself. My mission president, President Paul Craig, use to always tell me to stop beating myself up for falling short from being perfect. We spent a large amount of time over coming my perfection and realizing that I am going to fall short from the grace of God. He taught me that the Savior Jesus Christ would be the one to help make up the difference of my imperfection. Though it makes sense and something I always want to do, it is the hardest thing for me to do. It’s hard for me not to beat myself daily or weekly for not being perfect. There is always something that I should have done better and something that keeps me from being perfect.

Lately, I’ve been taking an institute class at UVU in which Brother Longmoore teaches us daily to give it all to Christ. Last week he taught us ways to allow the Atonement of Jesus Christ to help us and to trust in the Lord’s grace. Brother Longmoore has been truly inspired as a teacher because I’ve realized that it’s a terrible thing to beat ourselves up for living the gospel. He tells us that the good news should be enjoyable and we should get credit for the great things we do. Last week, he taught us that sin is not sin. Sin is just a mistake and a chance to learn, grow, and become a better person. It’s an opportunity to come closer to our Savior and Father in Heaven.

Going into General Conference this past weekend, I wanted to know how to not beat myself up daily anymore. I wanted to know how I could trust in the Lord more and use the Atonement of Jesus Christ more in my life. (Side note, this conference was a special one for me as I got to attend it in the flesh for the first time!) However, conference taught me that it is ok not to be perfect. God still loves us for not being perfect. He is proud of the progress we make daily and he is there at all times. He is grateful that we want to be better and have him in our lives.


Elder Gong of the seventy taught that being worthy is not perfect. Rather being worthy is striving daily to keep the covenants we made with the Lord. Being worthy is willing to change and allow the Savior to be apart of our change. We shouldn’t beat ourselves up for the mistakes we make like I do. So the past few week have been eye-opening to me. Its going to be hard but rather than tearing myself apart each night and Sunday, I’m going to work on forgiving myself and letting the Savior take over my insecurities. I’m going to work on my problems and let others help me more. I have a strong desire to be better person to myself and those around me. I might not be perfect but thats ok. I have a God who knows and loves me. I have a Savior who died for my sins and is there to hold me up and wrap his arms around me. I have an amazing family who loves me and looks past my faults. I have so many amazing leaders that teach me ways to be better. I have the best roommates who help me laugh at life’s ups and downs. I have so many great friends who teach me through their examples of what it is like to be disciples of Christ. Moving forward, life is going to be good and in time, I will overcome my shortcommings. Yoked with the Savior, I will be perfect one day.

For Elder Gerrit W. Gong’s full talk:




A Year Of Progress: I love tough things


A year ago today, March 6, 2015, I left the land of Chomping Gators, Screaming Indians, sweet potato eating, southern people of Jacksonville Florida and Southern Georgia. A year ago, I took of my name badge and became a “return missionary”. Going on my mission, I was told that it would be the hardest thing of my whole life however, this past year has taught me that going home has been the hardest thing I have ever done. This weekend, I have taken the time to reflect on all things that has happened to me in just 365 and the person that I have become. The past year has taught and brought me closer to my savior then ever before and I’d like to write about a few ways how.

Coming home with a torn achilles tendon was one of the hardest things ever as I have had to learn how to re-walk and eventually learn how to run again. In a slow progression, I learned how to become whole again. Physically, I got to be healed and restored new. I’ll never forget the look of my mother’s face when I walked out of the doctor’s office in a giant boot. She was so shocked. Months of physical therapy where at times I was discouraged and left thinking I would never get to run again. The atonement of Jesus Christ was there in every aspect and helped me get rid of the fears that lingered in the back of my mind.

Coming home was a mental challenge. All return missionaries experience heart break as they leave the one place that their true love is. Words can’t express how challenging it is to mentally pick up life in a new world after your heart has been shattered. My mission motto was “I love tough things, I am the first to do tough things, I do tough things first.” I can remembering the plane taking off and my heart felt like it was being ripped out and then a familiar voice telling me that I love tough things. Coming home, that has been my motivator to do things that I don’t mental think I can do. Mentally, the Savior has helped me over come the struggles in my mind of insecurities, regret, and fears. The Savior is there to remind me that I can do the tough things that I don’t feel that I can do.

Moving to Provo, UT has been greatest blessing and I never thought I would say that. I live with three amazing men of God that teach me daily what it means to be a true disciple of Jesus Christ. I can see through their examples how to Love God and Jesus Christ so much more. They have looked past my faults and challenge me to be a better person. They have helped me over come my addiction to the word hell and all the bad days that have come from heart break, bad break ups, terrible test days, and to not getting an internship of a life time. They continue to pick me up and help me be a better man.

Provo has given the Provo City Center Temple. This temple, though not dedicated, has been the biggest blessing me. I live five blocks away and makes me so happy every day. It has given me a deeper prospective of an eternal life and its where my soul feels the happiest. Its where I escape the world and remember the importance of all things in life. This temple has helped me to think of Jesus on such a different level that I can’t help but thank him for all that he has done.


The past year has been a rollercoaster but as I continue to move forward I know that my Savior will be there for all aspects. I am so grateful for the amazing people that I have met this year to help me on this path of coming to the world and moving forward. At first, I was very hesitant on adapting but as I sit here in my Gator hat, I am very glad that I have. I am glad that I have had the experiences that I have had this past year from the heart aches, to the new loves, to new adventures, to the many new mountains that I climb daily. Though I miss Florida and Georgia deeply, I am glad for this new phase in my life and the person that I continue to grow to be. I love the Tough Things that I have overcame and face head one with my Savior there to help me.


My Toms


Today, a lady at school told me I should consider getting new shoes because they are covered in paint and have holes in the heel as well in the toe. At first, I was rather irate with this lady as I was thinking she doesn’t even know the story that this pair of shoes and I have made.

These shoes are the first Toms I ever bought. The purchase was made in Missoula, Montana on get away trip with Hayley Harned our junior year of college. They’ve literally gone everywhere with me. They started as my lazy shoe to wear school and work so I didn’t have to wear socks, which I hate, or lace my shoes. They became my bus shoe as we would travel almost every weekend to a meet in Track and Cross Country. They have traveled all over the state of Montana, Idaho, Washington, Oregon, Wyoming, South Dakota, and Utah to be there before and after the race. They have walked through loads of snow in the cold Montana days. In the summer, they went to Glacier National Park to see hidden lake and Yellowstone Nation Park so I could see a moose. They went on a New Orleans trip to build homes for Katrina victims and walked up and down the poor streets. They got their white paint from Selena Spees throwing paint at me while we were suppose to be working. They’ve been to Soup Kitchens in New Orleans, Washington, and Oregon.

They traveled back home to Washington and became my go to church shoe before my mission. They were there to help me work and save money to get ready for a mission. They saw me after many pool workouts when getting injured. They climbed Mount Rainer and Mount Hood. They’ve long-boarded down massive hills of the Tri-cities and Prosser.

I choose to take them on my mission where they become the most use. In Georgia, they helped find millions of bricks in the Corbits yard. They helped the Corbits build a deck and cleaned many yards. They were there to help build a fence for the West family even though Diane thought they were ridiculous.  On my mission, they were there to be my relief. After a hard day of work, I could slip these shoes on and take my troubles away. They helped me transition out of the world as I still had a piece of me.

Moving to Jacksonville, these shoes have rakedtheir fare share of leaves! There were two weeks sold were they were used to rake massive amounts of leaves for many people. They’ve fished off the docks of Beth and Kendall Williams and ran through the fields of Arlington. They obtained the teal paint from painting for BriAna McGhee, my favorite part. She finally let James Collins and I do something for her and we had just a little too much fun. They got the white paint from painting in Hendricks. They smelled up the car and had to be placed in the trunk in Hendricks and planted flowers for Jim Colney.

In Chiefland, these shoes saw manual labor as they helped dig ditches and feed livestock. They raked the grass of the Gibs and pulled weeds for an Irish couple. In St Johns, they became my doctor shoe as they saw many doctors regarding my tendon.

Coming home from my mission, these shoes have climbed Mount Rainer with my mom, watered the Jensen’s lawn, and feed sheep for the Holdens. They’ve been in the kayak on the Yakima River and the Columbia. They’ve been my adventure buddy. Recently, they been my shoe to feed the homeless in Salt Lake and a reminder of the adventures I’ve had. Four weeks ago, they hiked the Y in Provo. These Toms have literally been everywhere with me and will continue to see a lot of life. They are there to ride my Penny board down the hills of Orem and Provo. We’ve had a good five years! So to that lady, I’ll continue to keep my “ugly” worn Toms that let my big toe hang out.




For the Love of St Johns Florida

Actually a year ago today, God gave me the greatest blessing ever. He transferred me to serve in the St Johns Ward with Elder Steven Taylor Anderson. This is transfer was the most crucial of all my mission for so many reasons. Many people have asked me since coming home from my mission on which area was my favorite and I try so hard not to answer this question because God gave me five amazing areas that I hold deeply in my heart for different reasons. However, St Johns is an area that I hold the deepest and the most sacred. This is area was an answer to so many prayers. I refer to St Johns as my grace for reasons that I have only shared with a few people. On this anniversary I’d like to come clean on why I love this area so much as I’ve been reflecting on it for the past few months lately.

Prior to be transferred to St Johns, I was battle two major trials: depression and a torn Achilles. While serving in the amazing Arlington, I witnessed something that startled me. Something that was so horrific that it shook me to my core. Instead of asking for help, I figured that I could shake it off. I was wrong and in doing so, Satan was able to attack me in a way that I never thought could be possible. He began feeding on my insecurities, my struggles, and the problems I’ve never solved with my life. He attacked me so much for nine months. I tried so hard to fight it and fake a smile each day but in time it becomes harder to smile when it’s forced. I lost my ability to laugh above all. There were three months where I couldn’t laugh at all. I feel so bad for the Cheifland Ward because they had to see me at my all time low. Depression is a true thing that can hit even the strongest of people.

When I tore my Achilles, satan was able to feed so much more on me. I was in so much pain and I could barely walk which made me feel like a terrible servant of the Lord. I felt so bad for having to slow down my companions. I felt bad that I allowed myself to become weak. The perfectionist in me saw it as a flaw that I couldn’t let anyone see. However, the truth though, I was dying in so much pain. Each step I took was agony and I couldn’t handle it. So the combination of the two trials were killing me and I became a wreck. I felt like a failure and was not happy by any means. I began crying daily and I finally realized that I couldn’t do it alone. I needed the help of my savior’s atonement and I needed relief. I just so desperately needed laughter and happiness. I needed to know that all the hard work that I was doing was paying off. I finally had the courage to ask God for help and told him I could take it any longer. Going home early from my mission was not an option and I let him know that. However, I asked God for relief and help.

God answers all prayers. Before I continue, everything I’ve mentioned prior, I mention it not to have one feel sorry but instead to show that God really does answer our prayers. To show that God has a much better way than how we feel it. For me, God answered my prayers by sending me to the St Johns. This transfer did three major things for me.First being able to see my best friend at least once a month for the last four and half months of my mission. Josh Cordon has saved my life on so many occasions. He is my person in which I tell all my problems to and he so gratefully listens and then lifts me up. He there for some of the worst doctor appointments and was there when I needed him the most. I am forever in debited to this man for all that he has done for me.


Second, God gave me Elder Steven Taylor Anderson. This man is a life saver in which I can’t wait for November 13 to come because he comes from his mission. Elder Anderson was a huge answer to my prayers as he listened to me. He loved me and he inspired me. He allowed for me to not think about all my problems but rather think about how I could help him with his. He did the most service to me in biggest time of need. I’ll never forget the week in which I couldn’t walk after biking all week due to be out of miles from doctor’s appointments. I felt so bad that we had to spend a whole week biking. My ankle was so enlarged, throbbing, and absolutely the worst pain I’ve ever experienced. Worst week of my life! That man, carried me up those stairs with no questions asked when I was struggling to crawl up the stares. His huge heart was exactly what I needed. Though I tried to fight his service, he wouldn’t let me refuse it. He brought laughter back into my life as the two of us were able to laugh through so many things daily. He saved my life. He woke the lion that was inside of me dying to come out. He was the biggest blessing ever.

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Thirdly, God gave me the St Johns ward. For those of you that don’t know, St Johns is by far the richest part of the FJM. It has large beautiful homes and everyone there is rolling in dough. Its made up mostly of young families and they have no time for anyone between the work, PTA, golf, swim, soccer, band, football, dance, play dates, school, parties, vacations, and the list goes on. Each person there is beyond busy that I have no idea how they do it all. It’s the prime and the priss. When I first got there, I was beyond scarred of these massive homes and the wealthy families that are trying to keep up with the Jones on the conner of the street. However, these people are the best. This ward showed me so much love that it is beyond real. This large and loud ward taught me the most lessons of all. The St Johns ward has the best members of the church with the biggest hearts. For example, the Hicks, in my mind, are the most model family ever! They were so inspired as they just so happened to feed me after every doctor appointment that I had. They have four amazing kids and the parents are beyond spiritual. They are laid back and so funny. Best part, they eat everything off paper plates and plastic forks. I don’t think they know of grateful this gesture was because I was so scarred that I would break a plate or glass in this area. It took so much pressure off haha. Their crazy kids were the best to sit next to on Sundays as they let you eat their treats in the pews. So great! Mike Hicks gave me the most guidance ever! He is one that I truly look up to.

Teylor Sonognini was the biggest part of St Johns that brought laughter and happiness to my life. Tey is a special gift! She is handicap but doesn’t let that stop her from living life. She became my very own best friend. I am convinced that she and I knew each other before coming to earth as we have a special connection. She let live my inner child again and always had the biggest smiles when I would see her. I think my favorite time was when her dad took her out of sacrament because she was not having a good day. She saw me sitting on the couch waiting for a meeting and ran up to tell me a joke. That day, I needed a joke from Tey more than anything as I was able to crumble inside. She taught me not take life so serious. I am so grateful for her parents as they are my heroes! The work they put in with Tey and the rest of their siblings is breath-taking. They have done so much for me that it can’t be numbered.


I am so grateful for the Mcintosh family. Brother Mc is by far the best ward mission leader ever!! Bless his heart because had to do so much to keep me sane. He had to see my biggest break downs and see me on my worsts and yet he helped me to fight through it all. The Greers are the coolest family ever! They have all the latest technology and are so humble! I have never once heard them brag about anything but rather be so willing to offer it to help others. They also have swag above anyone else! The Reinhardts taught me to own the swag that you do have, especially Sister Reinhardt. Sister Reinhardt became one of the most helpful to me as she unselfishly made room in her busy schedule to help almost all my investigators. The Lewis’ are a breath of fresh air. Sister Lewis helped me on so many levels and never blinked to do so. She helped me laugh through the hardest of days. The Postons are the biggest inspiration ever!! They taught me to trust in God through their circumstances. They are incredible. I look up to them so much. I love their love for the gospel and their willingness to do so much! The Fosters were my safe haven. They were the family that let just relax. They were by far the funniest family ever!! Sister Foster can really get me laughing! Brother Eckery taught me that each you need to relax and a little dosage of gossip is a good thing! Every Saturday, we had cookie party which really never had a gospel aspect but rather it was a chance to destress from the week. He is an amazing man!! Bishop Moody is the greatest bishop ever!! Hands down the bishop with the biggest heart. The Bakers are coolest people in the ward by far! Sam was best young men’s leader I have ever seen. Truly inspiring. Brother Jordan is the greatest Elder’s president ever. I have always hated going to the third hour of church till I got the joy of being taught by him. The Jenkins challenged me spiritually and expanded my love for the scriptures every time we went over to their place. They helped me to learn so many amazing things in the scriptures. MAMMA MARRA is the heart of the ward!! That women is best!! I can’t express how grateful I am to her! Richie Williams taught me it was ok be a normal person as a missionary. In my whole two years, he was the only person that actually had an interest in who Riley was and not Elder Frazier. He let me be my true self in a time that I strongly needed to find my self again. The Burmeisters are just amazing!! I love them so much. They are the funniest. The Garlands make the best food ever and have the biggest hearts! They have showed me love even when I knew it was struggle for them. They are the greatest neighbors ever. I am so grateful that I still get to see them. Jackson Crandal and his family were the kindest when it was cold! They saved me on so many cold nights when I thought I couldn’t peddle again. Words don’t express how grateful I am for them.

The Sister’s I got to serve with in this area were so amazing and helped to carry on. They were an inspiration to keep fighting. Thank you so much to Sister Larson, Sister Sorenson, Sister Hawkins, and Sister Bolos. The four of you taught me much and were so amazing. Such hard working and caring. I am so glad that were able to serve together.

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Lastly, God gave me Lesile Manna to teach. This women is the funniest thing to ever walk this earth. She was the person that taught me to laugh at the hardest of things. To thank God for being there to wake you up and to take a step forward when life is hard. She taught me that you can rise from the worst things. She taught me to embrace life and just carry on. If  anything, there is always something to laugh at at the end of the day.

I know this was long and forgive me for that. I know there are so many that I failed to mention in this post but I am also grateful for them. I couldn’t go on and on about the love I have for this amazing place. Words can’t express how grateful that God gave me this special place. I am so grateful for the lessons this place has taught me. I couldn’t have moved to Utah if it wasn’t for this beautiful place. Thank you for all that you have done for me! Thank you for saving me! This post can’t do it justice.