Tag Archives: Family

The Good Life

After heartbreak, regret, disappointment, grief, and or anger welcomes themselves into my life, its natural for me to shut the world out. I personally find myself shutting the world out and not letting anyone find me. People ask me what I do and where I go when I shut the world out. The truth is, I find myself devoting myself more to my studies, running, work, and my relationship with God (not in that particular order either). I usually spend more hours than usual in the Temple, at least forty hours in the library for the week, harder focus at work, and bust it in the gym for large period of times. I find that shutting the outside world out helps me to focus on what matters the most and lets me hide a bit from my problems. It also gives me the chance to think. Being alone is something that I actually enjoy, which people find hard to believe. Being alone is a very comforting thing for me. Being alone lets me regroup my thoughts and then decide what I want to do to move forward. I like things to be quiet and peaceful. I find that the outside world is rather loud and I can’t always be the person that I want to be. So I retreat to the places where I don’t have to be around people. I justify in my mind that if I’m in places where people can’t be with me, then I don’t have talk to people. Many people don’t believe when I tell them that I am extremely introverted person but I am. I like to exclude the world and be alone.

Around the end of August/ beginning of September, I began shutting the outside world out again. I purposely didn’t answer phone calls or didn’t turn my phone on for long periods of time. I’ve hid in the Provo City Center Temple and the library. I’ve hid in the mountains near my house as I’ve gone for long runs or adventures with my roommates. I’ve only allowed my roommates and select few individuals to see me and know about my whereabouts. I’ve kept myself grounded and in my house. Its been really peaceful to not to see people. I’ve turned to my Father in Heaven for much guidance and light. In these moments, I’ve come to really feel the love that God has for me. I’ve felt his peace and healing power to help me in a time of much struggle.

Lately, I’ve been allowing myself to branch out and set social goals (yes, I have to set goals to interact with other individuals). I’ve begun to meet people in my ward, see people from my mission, and grow closer with my roommates. I’ve set goals to buckle down and get things done during the week so I could have the chance to interact with others on my weekends. Moving forward isn’t always the easiest thing for me but its something that must be done.

The past two weekends have been ones where I’ve had moments where I’ve had chances to reflect on things in the most random times. First, I went to Moab with my roommates and while sitting in-between two arches, I realized that that the Lord has really guided me to live with amazing men of God who help me in so many ways. They are so patient with me and understand when to back off and when to ask inspired questions for my progression. They don’t push me but rather are there for guidance and support. They bring much needed laughter and love at critical times. They see me for who I can be and help lift me to that person.

 

Then this weekend, I ran a half marathon with two amazing people from my mission. One of which I was able to run 12 of the 13.1 miles together talking. This was the first time I was social in a race and it was so needed. Being able to just talk about anything and everything was nice. However, it was after the race when I was invited to attend a OneRepublic concert with my best friend and his family that I realized much more. There was a moment halfway through this concert that I realized that God has really given me exactly what I need in life. He is so aware of who I am and who I need to get through the hardest of things. He has placed amazing people in my life that know exactly how to deal with my situations. He has given so much in times of need that I can’t help but be grateful.

I really do have a good life. A life that I couldn’t even dream of. I have much to be happy for. Moving forward into the future is something I’m excited for. I truly love all that has been given to me and the chance to regroup and figure my next steps in life. I look forward to being social again. To letting the world see me again. Though life is hard its not bad but rather good.

 

 

 

 

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Abandoned Love

In the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, we are taught to forgive and forget. We are taught that true repentance is when we move forward in our life and we don’t take the past with us. We have to learn from the past but we can’t let it be dealt on.

The hardest type of forgiving can come when one abandoned you. When one left you stranded with questions of wondering why. For years, this abandoned love can really take its toll on us. Thoughts, questions, and memories begin to haunt our mind because of it. We begin to blame ourselves and find fault in ourselves because of this abandonment, which is wrong. For whatever reason that person chose to leave and they are forever gone. They tell us to “just get over it” but getting over it is harder than it seems. The worst type of abandonment can come with the loss of a parent.

I’ve never met my father. I don’t know who he is or what he looks like for the most part. He left when I was an infant. Growing up was fun with a single mother but it became very difficult. It became embarrassing though time. I grew up in a small town where the rumors are more than true and in a church where everything was centered on the family. I felt like the fact that I didn’t have a father was constantly being shoved in my face. More so, I didn’t understand so many things. I grew to hate this man that I never met more than ever. I even named him my sperm donor or sd for short. I grew to have such build up. I had a hard time understanding why someone could just leave. Then he never paid his child support, which to me was more than just the money. In my mind, it meant he didn’t care about my welfare. I could be dead on the street for all he knows. Needless to say, I felt abandoned.

Time and time again, I would reach out to people to try and solve this problem. However, most would tell me to just get over it. That it was wrong for me to feel this way. Well let me tell you, one can not just get over it, especially when you go to church each Sunday and everyone is expressing how grateful they are to have both their parents. Someone would say that I just needed to experience the atonement more in my life and it would be good. I admit, I am in the wrong. One should never have this much build up inside of them. Its bad for one to hate anyone in general. Christ teaches us to love our enemies (Matthew 5:44) and to love everyone. I’ve been trying to overcome this short coming in my life. For the most part, I just throw it in the back of my mind and vaulted it up. Hoping that it will all work out. I try not to think about it and don’t let others see that I have weaknesses.

Being on a mission has been hard. I’ve come to know that one can’t teach about eternal families unless one has a testimony in it. For about twenty months now, I’ve been trying to learn how to truly forgive this man. It’s been hard. I’ve come to learn that part of forgiving is also asking for forgiveness of the things you have done. For example, it wasn’t good that I named him sd. I took for granted the fact that he help bring me to this life. I took for granted the promise and trust that our Heavenly Father gives us in our family. I have learned many life skills and the importance the role the father plays in a child’s life. Though I haven’t fully come to forgive him just yet, I can find peace through my savior Jesus Christ. I can find peace that each experience helps us to become better. I’ve come to learn that the atonement of Jesus Christ can be applied in all aspects and that it can help us overcome the abandonment in our lives. Through Jesus Christ we can feel that the father in heaven will never abandon us. We can be loved through all the hard times. My father might have left on a sunny day but my father in heaven will be there through all the thunder storms.


What is Love?

What is Love?

Love, what is this thing that everyone so yearns for? What is this thing that the world needs more of? Everyone is always talking about how they look so hard to find it, and then when they have, they loose it. Does anyone truly know what this thing is?

I began today in a rather different turn than usual. Instead of diving straight into the Book of Mormon, I turned to the topical guide in my bible. There lies a page with the word love on the top. In fact this word appears 217 times in the bible and 41 times in the Book of Mormon. I feel like this word is rather important to say the least. Good old Webster told me that it is “an intense feeling of deep affection.” This made me think of the worldly aspect of love. The love we all wanted to have in high school. The love that is not really love at all but rather is more lust.

Jesus Christ taught that the greatest commandment is to “love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. And the second is to love thy neighbor as thyself” ( Matthew 22:36-39). We have been told that we must love with all our heart, soul, and mind. I read this as we need to show a deep connection and intense feeling with everything we have towards God and everyone else.

I feel that true love can be defined in the Book of Mormon, and I’m not talking about that love we all thought we had and felt in high school, rather true love that others can see. In Moroni 7:47, it reads, “charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever…” Charity is when we are willing to help those in need. It’s when we show a kindness and tolerance towards others. It is when we give up of our self to give others the chance to have better. Jesus Christ was the best example of this. He allowed himself to give everything he had for the sake of mankind. He died so man can live. This is true love. Looking on the other aspect, God showed his charity to his children by allowing Jesus Christ to die. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life” (John 3:16). God loved us so much that he gave the greatest thing to all mankind so we could all live with him again.

Love is when we give up ourselves or the thinks that our precious for us so that we can better someone else’s life. Love is sacrifice. My mom is truly an amazing example of this. The love that she has shown me in my life is incredible. She gave up everything she had to make sure her kids were taken care of. She worked two jobs and sacrificed time for me and my sisters. She put so many things on hold because she wanted to make sure her children’s needs were met. Growing up, I felt she didn’t have time for us because I didn’t understand. I didn’t realize that the reason she couldn’t make my soccer game is because she was working harder so I could play soccer. She was working so I could have chances and blessings in life. The many sacrifices she made was pure love.

Many of us feel that we must find love. Some will spend their whole life searching for it and never find it. To these people, I say they are wrong. One must first give a little love in order to gain a little love. Love will find us, we can’t go searching for it. Through our efforts of helping others and living a Christ like life, we can find the love that we all yearn to have in our life. We will find a love that will be eternal.


Our Greatest Title

On this earth, we have many callings and responsibilities to full fill. We take on many roles in this life: Runner, worker, boss, teacher, caregiver, and etc. There are many of these titles that make and shape into who we are. However, out of all the titles that we have, the greatest that we can take on is the title of Father, Mother, Husband, and Wife. The family is the greatest thing that we can have in this life. When we take on the responsibility of having children, we are allowing our selves to responsibility for one of our Heavenly Father’s child. It is a huge responsibility that we have that is sadly being taken lightly right now.  We are seeing that family values are being lost and families are not being together any more. That is why a family rooted into the Gospel of Jesus Christ is so vital. It is important that fathers and mothers take the time to teach their children the importance of the gospel and have that eternal perspective. One of the things that I love the most about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, is our importance of families and the fact that families can be together forever. In the temple, we can be sealed for all time and eternity to our family. The family is the greatest gift that our Heavenly Father has given us and we can’t take the responsibility too lightly. Recently, Heavenly Father has been teaching me the importance of having a family. I have never been one to want to have one but I see that on an eternal perspective, they are so vital. I look forward to the time that I get to have my own family.

Next to Jesus Christ, the greatest thing that the Lord has given us is our families. The family is ordained of God and is the most important social unit in this life and in eternity. Families that are centered in Christ will allow for greater love and apprentice towards one another. Also allowing more love, peace, joy, and happiness. Happiness and love cant be at its highest without the eternal perspective. When we see that families are can have the opportunity to be sealed together through the priesthood authority of God, we get more happiness in knowing that this joy will be forever. It becomes our greatest responsibility from God to protect and value our roles as mothers and fathers more important. God is allowing us to use this divine gift to help us grow and see the beauty of what God’s love is for us. We also are given the responsibility to make sure that our children get an opportunity to learn of the plan that the father has for us. “By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible for the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners” (Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102). When it comes to families, it is an equal partnership: no one parent is responsible for all of the raising. Both parents play a part that needs to be played.

Growing up, I had a single mother. It was difficult in times. I can remember my mother having to work two jobs to make sure that everything would work out for us. This resulted in a lot of times where my mother was not there. I can remember having to be the last child picked up from the babysitter. Left wondering when she was going to be there. I can remember having to be tucked into bed by grandparents and  then being woken up in middle of the night to have my mother.  Just to say hello to us. I am very grateful for the sacrifices that she had to go through to help us out. However, having a single mother caused a void and loads of question to fester in my heart. I don’t know who my father is. I have no idea what he even looks like. Growing up, this was a hard thing to shallow. Instead of being grateful, I began to grow a hatred towards a man that I have never even met. Father’s Day became a day that I dreaded. There will always be questions that I can’t have an answer to and I am ok with that, because I understand the importance now of having two parents. I fully understand the importance of two parents in a child’s life. I may never have an earthly father but instead, I can be the father someday that I would have always wanted. More important, I have a loving Heavenly Father that wants us to live with him. So as parents, we have to rise up to the calling that the Lord has given us. Through the Savior’s Love, we can become the parents that we need to be. As we fulfill the plan that our Heavenly Father has for us, we will have the chance to have true happiness for eternity.


Love for Ronan

This week I have been doing a lot studying about the joy that can come from children and even the joy that come from the Plan of Salvation. This is the Plan that our Heavenly Father has for us that answers the questions of Why we are here?, Where we are going?, and Where we came from?. I was reading in the October 2013 Ensign, a Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints magazine, there is an article about a family who had a child that died right after being born. It made me think of a popular song, Ronan by Taylor Swift. This is a song about a child that dies after just being four years old. Swift sings about the struggles that come through from losing a child. When this song came out, I searched about the little kid and found that his mother has a blog in which she wrote to help her with the struggles. After reading the Ensign this month, I couldn’t help but think how hard it would be to have a child die. I have never had a child but I have watched my grandparents struggle with hardship when my Uncle died in Iraq in 2004. Watching my grandparents, I have seen how a knowledge of the Plan of Salvation has helped have more joy. This plan shows how much our Heavenly Father loves us. He loves so much that he wants us to return to live with him again. He wants us to have happiness in this life. I love that our families can have the opportunity to live together forever. That we will have the chance to see our families again.The article ends by showing that as we turn to our Heavenly Father for help in these difficult times, then we can have strength and happiness that will help us cope with the loss of a loved one. The loss of a child is something  that I hope no one has to go through.

Ronan

By Taylor Swift

I remember your bare feet down the hallway
I remember your little laugh
Race cars on the kitchen floor, plastic dinosaurs
I love you to the moon and back

I remember your blue eyes looking into mine
Like we had our own secret club
I remember you dancing before bed time
Then jumping on me, waking me up

I can still feel you hold my hand, little man
And even the moment I knew
You fought it hard like an army guy
Remember I leaned in and whispered to you

Come on baby with me we’re gonna fly away from here
You were my best four years

I remember the drive home
When the blind hope turned to crying and screaming “Why?”
Flowers pile up in the worst way, no one knows what to say
About a beautiful boy who died

And it’s about to be halloween
You could be anything you wanted if you were still here
I remember the last day when I kissed your face
I whispered in your ear

Come on baby with me we’re gonna fly away from here
Out of this curtain room and this hospital grey, we’ll just disappear
Come on baby with me we’re gonna fly away from here
You were my best four years

What if I’m standing in your closet trying to talk to you?
What if I kept the hand-me-downs you won’t grow into?
And what if I really thought some miracle would see us through?
What if the miracle was even getting one moment with you?

Come on baby with me we’re gonna fly away from here
Come on baby with me we’re gonna fly away from here
You were my best four years

I remember your bare feet down the hallway
I love you to the moon and back

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(Ronan Thompson)


Love for the Single Mother

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Throughout our life, I feel that we get overwhelmed and we don’t have anyone there that will help us. We work ourselves to the bone and it becomes to much to handle. Growing up, I had a single mother for the longest times. As a child, I didn’t understand all the things that she had to go through. All the responsibilities that she had to do weren’t apparent to me till I actually grew up and had to do things all on my own. I have so much respect for my single mother because she really had to do everything!! She had to worry about all of our bills were paid, taking us to all the sporting events, and then making sure the house was always clean with a meal on the table on top of working two jobs. However, I think the reason that she was was able to do so much was because our family has something else working with us, Jesus Christ. Growing up, my mother was a strong supporter in making sure that all of her children were in church. She made sure that religion was a large part of our upbringing. She had to relay on the Lord in more ways than one to make sure that everything was accomplished for us. Being on my mission, I have grown to have a larger appreciation for my mother now that I have been teaching more single mothers.  One of my favorite families was in my first area and I was blessed to have the opportunity to see how the gospel of Jesus Christ has affected their family. Sister Owens is a remarkable women who have been raising five children and has done a great job in having the Lord in apart of their upbringing. When I met Sister Owens, things in their family was just beginning to be hectic for them as her children were all going into different paths.  As  the gospel of Jesus Christ came into their life, I was able to sit back and watch how their family has grown so much closer and more connected with their Heavenly Father.  I have so much respect and admiration for Sister Owens because each day she just tries to do everything for all of her kids and on top of it, she taking care of her mother too. The gospel of Jesus Christ has given them so many different blessing but I feel the biggest blessing is that her Heavenly Father is helping her take care of her children. She has the help from the greatest power of all time. Like my mother and Sister Owen, there are times for single parents were times are more stressful than ever. There are times where single parents don’t know how everything is going to pan out and all they want is for the house to be clean more than a day. A single mom wants peace and to get everything accomplished. However, I know that our Heavenly Father is always there to help those that need it. There is never a trial to hard for us as we turn to the Lord for his help.  As we go through the trail with faith, we will have more happiness when get the blessing.


My Sister’s Keeper Love

My Heavenly Father gave me the greatest gift of all time. The person that I love the most is my little sister Hailey. She is the greatest gift given to me! We are beyond close and we have the ability to laugh at every thing. Sometimes we say that we have a langue that is all of our own because we can look at each other, laugh our heart out, and without saying a word, we know what the other is thinking. Growing up, we didn’t always get along and we still have days that we argue but at the end of the day we love each other. I believe that our Heavenly Father has given us our families for certain reasons. That they are organized through God for our benefit to help us grow and to lift us up in the times of need. There have been more days than one when a phone call home or reading a letter from her has helped me in the times that I need the most. This love that we have for each other has come from our faith in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. We know that we will have the ability to live together for ever and we cherish that ability. We tell each that we were put on this earth for soul purpose of being each other’s keeper. We look out for each other and are grateful that we have the bond that we do.  She is one of the greatest gifts that I have received from my Heavenly Father.

Doctrine and Covenants 132: 15-20 tells us:

15 Therefore, if a man marry him a wife in the world, and he marry her not by me nor by my word, and he covenant with her so long as he is in the world and she with him, their covenant and marriage are not of force when they are dead, and when they are out of the world; therefore, they are not bound by any law when they are out of the world.

16 Therefore, when they are out of the world they neither marry nor are given in marriage; but are appointed angels in heaven, which angels are ministering servants, to minister for those who are worthy of a far more, and an exceeding, and an eternal weight of glory.

17 For these angels did not abide my law; therefore, they cannot be enlarged, but remain separately and singly, without exaltation, in their saved condition, to all eternity; and from henceforth are not gods, but are angels of God forever and ever.

18 And again, verily I say unto you, if a man marry a wife, and make a covenant with her for time and for all eternity, if that covenant is not by me or by my word, which is my law, and is not sealed by the Holy Spirit of promise, through him whom I have anointed and appointed unto this power, then it is not valid neither of force when they are out of the world, because they are not joined by me, saith the Lord, neither by my word; when they are out of the world it cannot be received there, because the angels and the gods are appointed there, by whom they cannot pass; they cannot, therefore, inherit my glory; for my house is a house of order, saith the Lord God.

19 And again, verily I say unto you, if a man marry a wife by my word, which is my law, and by the new and everlasting covenant, and it is sealed unto them by the Holy Spirit of promise, by him who is anointed, unto whom I have appointed this power and the keys of this priesthood; and it shall be said unto them—Ye shall come forth in the first resurrection; and if it be after the first resurrection, in the next resurrection; and shall inherit thrones, kingdoms, principalities, and powers, dominions, all heights and depths—then shall it be written in the Lamb’s Book of Life, that he shall commit no murder whereby to shed innocent blood, and if ye abide in my covenant, and commit no murder whereby to shed innocent blood, it shall be done unto them in all things whatsoever my servant hath put upon them, in time, and through all eternity; and shall be of full force when they are out of the world; and they shall pass by the angels, and the gods, which are set there, to their exaltation and glory in all things, as hath been sealed upon their heads, which glory shall be a fulness and a continuation of the seeds forever and ever.

20 Then shall they be gods, because they have no end; therefore shall they be from everlasting to everlasting, because they continue; then shall they be above all, because all things are subject unto them. Then shall they be gods, because they have all power, and the angels are subject unto them.

Through the Love of the Savior, my family has had the opportunity to grow stronger and have a greater love towards one another. I love that I know that my family can be together forever.

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