Tag Archives: friends

The Good Life

After heartbreak, regret, disappointment, grief, and or anger welcomes themselves into my life, its natural for me to shut the world out. I personally find myself shutting the world out and not letting anyone find me. People ask me what I do and where I go when I shut the world out. The truth is, I find myself devoting myself more to my studies, running, work, and my relationship with God (not in that particular order either). I usually spend more hours than usual in the Temple, at least forty hours in the library for the week, harder focus at work, and bust it in the gym for large period of times. I find that shutting the outside world out helps me to focus on what matters the most and lets me hide a bit from my problems. It also gives me the chance to think. Being alone is something that I actually enjoy, which people find hard to believe. Being alone is a very comforting thing for me. Being alone lets me regroup my thoughts and then decide what I want to do to move forward. I like things to be quiet and peaceful. I find that the outside world is rather loud and I can’t always be the person that I want to be. So I retreat to the places where I don’t have to be around people. I justify in my mind that if I’m in places where people can’t be with me, then I don’t have talk to people. Many people don’t believe when I tell them that I am extremely introverted person but I am. I like to exclude the world and be alone.

Around the end of August/ beginning of September, I began shutting the outside world out again. I purposely didn’t answer phone calls or didn’t turn my phone on for long periods of time. I’ve hid in the Provo City Center Temple and the library. I’ve hid in the mountains near my house as I’ve gone for long runs or adventures with my roommates. I’ve only allowed my roommates and select few individuals to see me and know about my whereabouts. I’ve kept myself grounded and in my house. Its been really peaceful to not to see people. I’ve turned to my Father in Heaven for much guidance and light. In these moments, I’ve come to really feel the love that God has for me. I’ve felt his peace and healing power to help me in a time of much struggle.

Lately, I’ve been allowing myself to branch out and set social goals (yes, I have to set goals to interact with other individuals). I’ve begun to meet people in my ward, see people from my mission, and grow closer with my roommates. I’ve set goals to buckle down and get things done during the week so I could have the chance to interact with others on my weekends. Moving forward isn’t always the easiest thing for me but its something that must be done.

The past two weekends have been ones where I’ve had moments where I’ve had chances to reflect on things in the most random times. First, I went to Moab with my roommates and while sitting in-between two arches, I realized that that the Lord has really guided me to live with amazing men of God who help me in so many ways. They are so patient with me and understand when to back off and when to ask inspired questions for my progression. They don’t push me but rather are there for guidance and support. They bring much needed laughter and love at critical times. They see me for who I can be and help lift me to that person.

 

Then this weekend, I ran a half marathon with two amazing people from my mission. One of which I was able to run 12 of the 13.1 miles together talking. This was the first time I was social in a race and it was so needed. Being able to just talk about anything and everything was nice. However, it was after the race when I was invited to attend a OneRepublic concert with my best friend and his family that I realized much more. There was a moment halfway through this concert that I realized that God has really given me exactly what I need in life. He is so aware of who I am and who I need to get through the hardest of things. He has placed amazing people in my life that know exactly how to deal with my situations. He has given so much in times of need that I can’t help but be grateful.

I really do have a good life. A life that I couldn’t even dream of. I have much to be happy for. Moving forward into the future is something I’m excited for. I truly love all that has been given to me and the chance to regroup and figure my next steps in life. I look forward to being social again. To letting the world see me again. Though life is hard its not bad but rather good.

 

 

 

 


Things Come in Disguise

I think its human nature for us to be ungrateful for the things that we have in life. Its part of who we are to want more than we have and not fully care for the little things that are given to us. I realized this this past week as I found myself ungrateful for the things in my life. I found myself upset with how my life was going and where I was at in life. Which is a sad thing to say. Sometimes, we have to stop and take a look at our life in a different angle to see all of the good that is given to each of us. I really hate the town of Prosser. I have never been grateful of this small little town. I have blamed it as the place where all my problems in life exist. However, while at a JV Baseball game. I came to realize how good Prosser was for growing up. I had such great opportunities that no other town could have given. Coming back to this place after living in the blessed Florida for two years has not been easy. I have found my self avoiding everyone here. I have hid from the world of Prosser so that I didn’t have to show myself to this town. However, I realize how terrible that is. Being back in Prosser, is where the Lord has needed me to be. Being home has been good. I realized how lucky I am to be in this place. I get the blessing of going to the temple twice a week or even more. Its literally just down the road from where I lived. Living twenty minutes away from the house of the Lord has been a major blessing that I wasn’t fully grateful for. While sitting and watching movies with my family this week, I realized that I haven’t had my mom and Raphael to myself in my whole life. This is the first time that it has just been me at home. How grateful I am to be able to get to know them even more. They truly have done so much for me. Lastly, I realized how grateful that the Lord has given me such a great friend here in Prosser: Evan Jensen. Though I’m suppose to be helping him, I find that he is helping me more. What a blessing it has been to have a friend here in this town. He has got me out to do many things and given me the chance to help another once again. He has made me so proud as I have gotten to watch so much progression take place in just the six weeks that I have been home. Being able to go to the temple with him this past week was so humbling. I might not have all the things that I want in life right now. I might not be living the glamours life like others but I have so much to be thankful for right now. The Lord has answered my endless prayers in ways that I couldn’t of even thought of. Its truly a great  to just sit back and to count the endless blessing that have been given to me. Blessings are truly given to us in ways that we don’t always accept or think of.  They come each day. We just have to look at times to see them.