I think I just heard my heart sing love, love, love.
I’m currently siting in class and I received a farewell text from one of my favorite individuals. As I sit here thinking about my actions lately, I can’t help but feel love. I started to prep those around me for my departure. I know that I will be leaving this place I call my home. I’ve known since August that I will be gone. So, I’ve begun preparing those around that I will be gone. However, I feel that I am more preparing myself for this grand adventure that will be taking place in my life.
Next to my dating life, I get asked on what is next in my life. People are all curious to know what I will be using my degree for and where I will be off to next. I would like to inform the world that I have a plan!!! I know what I will be doing (You have no idea how excited that is to say!). Unfortunately, I will not be indulging that information to the world just yet. Rather, I want to keep it pure and just for me. I want to bask in the joy that this next step is for me and all for me. Every move in my life, the Lord has told me where to go. This time, he let me choose. As nerve wracking that was, it’s nothing but joy. The adventure of finding the next step has been one for the books.
Let me take you on my adventure. The past couple of months, I have applied for anything and everything. I have pictured my life in different aspects of the world and in various roles for different companies. I have allowed for each option to be on the table. Nothing has gotten written off until I have come to learn that I will not be happy in that position or given the word no. I have allowed for others to come to me too. For example, a company found this blog and approached me to be a content marketer for them. In this process, I have been rejected more than once. The word no has been something that I’ve allowed myself to become adapted to hearing. My creative outlook has been told to be unoriginal and dull in some companies. I’ve been told that I am better on paper than in person. I have been told that I will never make in the digital marketing world. I think my favorite is when I was told that I didn’t look my Facebook photo from a company. I’ve allowed the word no to shape me into this confident person.
Three weeks ago, Dr. Letty Workman, my mentor and idol, helped me to explore more options in life. She expanded my mindset and helped me to create a ten-year plan, even. I have a debt that I will never ever be able to repay to her. This plan has helped me to get a focus and direction and to know what I really want to go after. I’ve been able to wipe somethings off the table. Though, there are about three players left on the table, I’ve never been calmer about the future. I have a new-found love for what is next. I’m truly excited and love the adventure that I will be embarking on. It will shake the world and many will disagree with it, but I am ready to leap forward to it. I what will truly make me happy in this world. It is time to face my fears.
As I sit on this train, my heart is full of love for those that have touched my heart in Provo. The good, the bad, the ugly, the laughs, and the in-betweens have all shaped me to be the person that I am today. Provo, Utah has a piece of my heart! I dread the day that I will have to look out of my door and the Y won’t be there. The dating capital of the world has left the biggest impact on my life, larger than my mission. It has been the Saturday nights of just watching movies with friends and laughing till all of us need to go to bed. It’s the moment where you ask the cute girl in the ward out three times and she says no every time (and before you ask, this did happen to me). It is the moments of stress and frustration. It is the moments where you longboard down the streets with your home girl till she falls off and skids her knee. It is the moments where you cry your eyes out because of a relationship has ended. It is in the moment where you are home teaching about flirting and you have everyone in the room role play how to flirt with girls. It is in the moment of seeing your best friends walk in the classroom door each night, excited to see you. It is in the moments where you know you have lost your best friend. It is in the moment when you tell the girl no for the date. It is in the many, many, many sporting games. Nothing beats sitting in institute with your friend and your stake president is discussing the weird topics of intimacy in marriage. Provo has a piece of my heart that can never be replaced. I know that I will be sad when I say goodbye to it. So, rather than cut it off like a Band-Aid, I’ve been preparing my heart to get broken. I’ve been scared to start a new life and become fresh. I am ready for it though. My growth has come to a hindrance. There are just a few things left for me to wrap up here. In a few months, I will have accomplished those things and my adventure will continue.
Lastly, I have much love for the last few months here. I am excited to embark on the next chapter but I’m more excited to make the most out of what is left for me here. I am excited to live to the fullest. I am excited for the few all-night study cram sessions that are upon me. I am excited to get rejected from the next cute girl that I ask out. I am even more excited to go on a date with a cute girl and have it go very well. I am excited to watch the finishing touches to be placed on my final projects in school, work, and life. I am excited to take this time and fully cherish it! To cherish it to the fullest. I will never be given the experiences that I have in Provo again. I can’t wait to take advantage of them. So, yes, I will be getting the big cupcake at the Mighty Baker and I will hike the Y at least ten more times. I will longboard the canyon with my home girl and I will laugh with my roommates. I will put all my efforts to pushing to the end!
So yes, I did hear my heart sing LOVE LOVE LOVE!